The Heart of a Maneater the “Bad Little Girl”!

THE HEART OF A MANEATER.  By Laura Edgar

By the dime store psychologist.  If you came from FB Friends of Bill and Bob scroll past videos to continue reading.   I copied that post starting at “Introducing the Maneater” below.

Low self image is at he core of most active addicts hearts. The ego picks up where a broken identity drops the ball.

Did the Primary teaching voice of your formative years often sound like this? (granted most people don’t remember until they spend years in therapy, meditation, and prayer coupled with self-awareness exercises.)

“You’re a Bad little girl/boy!  How could you do such a thing, again?   Don’t do that, don’t act like that, don’t be like that and don’t feel like that!  You’re wrong, wrong, wrong everything that comes from your little heart is wrong”.  And then here’s the worst quote of all folks: “You shouldn’t FEEL that way! Your feelings are wrong! Your ideas are stupid and you should be ashamed of yourself.   Don’t cry!  Cry baby!  That’s nothing to cry about!  That’s nothing to be afraid of!  Chicken shit…scaredy cat..and worse. We are programmed to hide our fears, weaknesses, and hearts truths.

Continue reading “The Heart of a Maneater the “Bad Little Girl”!”

Is Your A.A. Sponsor your Army Sergeant?

What is the best kind of sponsor?

There has been a long standing debate in A.A. about what kind of sponsor is right.  The kind who is loving, caring, considerate, respectful, informative, giving, truthful, and assertive.  Or the kind who says “I am not here to be your friend, get off your lazy low-life ass and do this work.” Or as one man shared recently about a man in A.A. who “saved his life” by saying to him early on in recovery “FUCK YOUR FEELINGS”.  OUCH! I SAY OUCH TO THAT.  But it worked for him.  It got his attention he said.  But not all emotional pain is self-pity, on the contrary.  Trauma needs to be expressed to come out.

Granted keep in mind in our scenario both sponsors are teaching the twelve steps and the traditions from the Big Book.  The personalities are just an added flavor or bi-product of their Sponsorship.

Continue reading “Is Your A.A. Sponsor your Army Sergeant?”

Spirituality Is Like Swimming

Spirituality is like swimming I explained to my sister Brenda.  You dip your soul, spirit, and body into the presence of God and you swim in joyous distractions from every negative reality that once brought you low.  You feel good.  For me a burden was lifted and black cloud on my soul, removed.  After my spiritual experience the joy and peace that only the supernatural can provide blanketed me.  My choices are different than they used to be.  I have never been the same…thank God!  I love humans again or…maybe for the first time I love other women.  I was unaffected by negativity because my perception was one of spiritual insight.  I saw the good in all things. Continue reading “Spirituality Is Like Swimming”

Genesis Chapter 6

Genesis 6 :: King James Version (KJV)


And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,

That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.


And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.

There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.


And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.


These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.

And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence.

And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.

And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.

Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.

And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.

And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die.

But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons’ wives with thee.

And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female.

Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.

And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them.

Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.

Anonymous Outcry: “Meditate and Become Self Aware”

Meditate and become self aware so you are no longer manipulated by the elite.  This is the step eleven suggestion put forth by both the Anonymous (wake up call) organization and Alcoholics Anonymous known as Step Eleven suggestion of frequent prayer and meditation as a tool to stay sane and sober.

Meditation works wonder of this I can attest.  It will both enlighten and fulfill parts of us we didn’t know were empty.  And even better it will help us expel ur demons.  See link on “how to meditate”

Apparently the Anonymous organization whoever they are (watch video CLICK HERE TO WATCH VIDEO) knows one of the many benefits of practicing meditation. To become self aware is to become armed with many good characteristics that do allot more than just help a person stay sober. Meditation will also show you the “why” behind your addiction, journaling, prayer, and meditation combined with the rest of the 12 steps will arm you with truth, enlightenment, and epiphanies about many things. Interesting that the Anonymous speaker mentions that, “a few thousand years ago we humans were all primal with little intelligence”. Some folks believe this theory, that our race mated with higher intelligence aliens so we could become a race better serving their species. Basically we were too ape-like to be of any use to these aliens so they bread intelligence into us.

Another interesting tid bit is the old Testament scripture that lines up with such a theory. However the Bible

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called the aliens “sons of God”.  And that these sons of God breat with the daughters of man. ” when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.” Gen 6:4.    Basically picturing a higher intelligent being having sex with a lower intelligence but apparently “hot looking” woman to populate the earth with smarter creatures capable of understanding certain jobs these aliens presented to us. Who were these “sons of God”?  Where the “angels” like the preachers say?  Hmm more will be revealed I suppose.

http://www.recoveryfarmhouse.net/to-the-present-future-and-past/anonymous-2/ CLICK HERE T WATCH VIDEO NOW IMPORTANT DO YOUR STEP ELEVEN AND BECOME SELF AWARE!

Click picture of the hooded man to watch video in next page.

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Bill Wilson’s White Light Experience

In December of 1934 Bill Wilson was in Towns Hospital off Central Park in NYC for what would be his last detoxification. During this hospitalization Bill had a dramatic “spiritual experience.” Bill describes this dramatic experience in his history of A.A. (1957, p.63):

“My depression deepened unbearably and finally it seemed to me as though I were at the bottom of the pit. I still gagged badly on the notion of a Power greater than myself, but finally, just for the moment, the last vestige of my proud obstinacy was crushed. All at once I found myself crying out, ‘If there is a God, let Him show Himself! I am ready to do anything, anything!’

Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. I was caught up into an ecstasy which there are no words to describe. It seemed to me, in my mind’s eye, that I was on a mountain and that a wind not of air but of spirit was blowing. And then it burst upon me that I was a free man. Slowly the ecstasy subsided. I lay on the bed, but now for a time I was in another world, a new world of consciousness. All about me and through me there was a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, ‘So this is the God of the preachers!’ A great peace stole over me and I thought, ‘No matter how wrong things seem to be, they are still all right. Things are all right with God and His world.”

Bill W.’s Spiritual Experience from Language of the heart pg. 275

In “Language of the Heart” Bill W. writes again about his white light experience at the Towns Hospital. Continue reading “Bill Wilson’s White Light Experience”

Men in Sobriety

Maybe I am wrong about men by Brenda Lane

Perhaps men don’t have to have a healthy emotional process like the women I am close to need.  Maybe they don’t need to address their childhood trauma or the reasons for self-loathing that they try to mask over.  Also maybe they will need meetings the rest of their lives if they don’t adapt a healthy emotional process and let the little scared man out of the proverbial yellow metallic box they have stuck him in.  On Facebook I share articles about emotional healing and get bashed by men who claim they have no need for emotional tools.  They mock me.  And they call me names because I post emotional solutions to addiction that go beyond their shallow and counterfeit USDA status quo brand of recovery.  This is for you Mr. Meanie.

http://www.recoveryfarmhouse.net/recovery-grave-emotional-disorder/ Do men in A.A. ever really address their core reasons for using? Do they ever really expose the scared and vulnerable little man inside? Or do they latch on to the textbook surface reasons to drink and drug and run with them? It’s self-centeredness by god! Wait no it’s “self-will run riot” ya that one is acceptable to our peers. We are allowed to be that person to be accepted. We are supposed to become who we really are in recovery not become some fear based picture that we draw about ourselves because we believe then people will like us all the while swearing off the normal social cares for reputation and peer pressures that all humans feel unless they be sociopath. What about the little man inside who is battered and hurt? What about the shame and inferiority the addict feels. Shame is responsible for the “fear of people” Bill W revealed to us. It’s nearly impossible for some men to get in touch with his weaker more vulnerable side. They have been programmed to hide it. They would rather fight a war than look their own inner child in the face. After all with names like “chicken shit” and “pu**y” and “yellow belly” ingrained in their little souls they could never get to the profoundly afraid little man they cover up so adamantly. “Shame” you say? “I don’t do shame ever!” Hell no! So they use the textbook answers printed by a man who was so depressed for so long that he tried LSD repeatedly as a cure rather (and after years sober none the less) than to become vulnerable emotionally.  (Bill Wilson put his history in print.)  With the textbook reasons for insanity offered to men they can receive the validation they so badly (don’t know they) need. Well do your work under the title of “emotional sobriety” Mr. Rage that one is accepted by your manly peers. The most emotionally healthy men in AA that I know have had extensive therapy where they DID address their core issues. And “in weakness WE ARE MADE STRONG” (1st Cor. 12:9  quoted by Apostle Paul as the words of Jesus).    Or you could just continue with your sex addiction and screw the inner man. But what happens if sex becomes unavailable? http://therapistsbirmingham.com/mental-health-issues/real-men-dont-go-to-therapy-not-true/

Similar article-men get therapy too.

“Anonymous” and I don’t mean Alcoholics Anonymous

If you need to know how a person can stay sober click this link.  Please know it’s common for addicts to feel they have failed in the sobriety fight.  DON’T give up!

This is a recovery from addictions website.  But I watched the video below and felt it was so important I posted it “off topic”.  However this site is full of recovery tools and AA controversial topics if you are interested.

Click the picture of the masked anonymous guy to hear vital video truths about bankers and the Federal Reserve–a private and heartless ruler.

Who are these people, the one percent who don’t give a damn about the planet Earth.  If you have allot of money DO NOT keep it in the bank.  If the banks face bankruptcy they can keep your money to prevent it.  But you know what I think…they will be brought low and soon.  There are beings more intelligent and powerful than the elite 1%ers.  Soon these powerful beings who do care about the survival of the Earth and it’s people will bring low the diabolical destroyers of the planet.  The toxic waste makers, the food poisoners, the money lenders, the tricksters and blood thirsty cheaters who bathe in blood for a youthful look.  They will be brought low and soon.  This is my prophecy to the people.

The Federal Reserve by “Anonymous”  Click the Anonymous  picture to hear the video.

AA Agnostica Finally Finds it’s Way to Validation

“In January of this year the discrimination against agnostic groups by Intergroup in the Toronto area ended as a result of a settlement mediated by the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal. In the very next Intergroup Newsletter, called Better Times, this candid history of one of the previously excluded groups was published. Imagine that (Original aaagnostica.com article).”

 

Though Recovery Farmhouse writers do not advocate any certain Higher Power we do advocate sharing what works for you and us to stay sober.  Clearly Bill W. and the Big Book make clear no certain Higher Power is required by AA.  Where?  “The only requirement for membership is a desire to stay sober.”  Granted in the BB Bill writes that the purpose of this book is

Continue reading “AA Agnostica Finally Finds it’s Way to Validation”

Answers to quiz “Do you know your Big Book?”

Answers to A.A. quiz
Correct Answers

1  We should be armed with…facts about ourselves
2.   What kind of disease?  A spiritual disease
3.   What kind of list?  A list of our fears
4. Bills reason for our being in the world?  To play the role God assigns.
5.  Responsibility pledge controversy?  2& 3 not in big book and implies debt to AA

6. While working with others avoid:  Argument and fault finding-
7.   What do we carry every day according to Bill W.?  Carry the vision of God’s will into all our activities.
8. What thought should be with us constantly?  How can I best serve thee and thy will be done.
9.   Bill labels us?  Undisciplined-
10. Bill W.’s labels for alcoholics   All of the above, below:

a. Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde
b. Incredibly dishonest and selfish
c. In respect to liquor Dangerously anti-social
d. Insanely drunk
11.A careless or inconsiderate remark:  Will raise the devil
12 Relationship question:   all of the above is correct

See the 5 Worst Foods for your Waistline

Food companies could be destroying your health!

Click the link or the photo.

Please Click the pic then click the play arrow in next page.  Video has a 3 second delay before start.

This video will tell you exactly what the worst foods are and what they do to us.  What is the chemical “High Fructose Corn Syrup”?  And how does our brain react to both preservatives and HFCS?

It’s no wonder our country is overweight.  This video tells how to beat a fat waistline and still eat yummy foods.

 

 

“And a third of the waters were blood” (Revelation 16)

"And the second angel poured out his vial upon the sea; and it became as the blood of a dead man: and every living soul died in the sea."

CAN WE STOP ALL POLLUTION?  

IMPOSSIBLE.  BUT, BY GOD….CAN’T WE ISOLATE THE WORST OFFENDERS OF THE EARTH’S GLOBAL ABUSE AND STOP THE PROCESS NOW!

Let me spell out RED TIDE AND DEAD ZONES.  Pollutants knock the balance of the ocean’s ecosystem way off kilter.  Then hoards of UN-NATURAL algae grow on top of the ocean.  They quickly bloom AND THEN DIE.  With their death comes an array of negative effects which are all put to motion originally by oil drilling and man made fertilizers.  (organic fertilizers not near as bad http://iraj.in/up_proc/pdf/229-146417473466-71.pdf.)

I WAS JUST IN BRADENTON AND ANNA MARIA ISLAND (West coast of Florida)  The beach is uninhabitable.

Once again nitrogen oxides and other chemicals are destroying the oceans delicate balance.  Chemicals have destroyed the west coast beaches of Florida all the way from Tampa to Naples (see 2016 red tide map current status).The air or I should say “lack of air” on the beach is unbreathable…LITTLE OXYGEN in many spots.   You just can’t breath air that doesn’t contain oxygen.   Standing near the beach is like breathing pepper spray if you have ever experience that.  And believe you me it will get you sick if you stay down there for very long.

Continue reading ““And a third of the waters were blood” (Revelation 16)”

Suffering from Addiction? You CAN RECOVER!

I Want Every Addict to Know,

addiction can be a thing of the past.  It doesn’t have to be a threat to us for evermore.  We don’t have to fear it crouching outside the rooms like some powerful beast cunning baffling powerful.  FEAR is not what the 12 steps teach us.

The reason people are always on the edge of relapse or fear they will is because they have not worked the twelve steps to the point of learning to live them.  If fear could keep us sober then we would have stayed sober along time ago of our own accord.  Because fear is one thing that most addicts are well versed in.

The second reason people don’t stay sober is because

Continue reading “Suffering from Addiction? You CAN RECOVER!”

Radiolab-ADDICTION-The Fix

Radio Lab

The Fix-Addiction & Recovery

Here is the original link to this show at radio lab.

This episode we take a sober look at the throbbing, aching, craving desire states that return people (again and again) to the object of their addiction … and the pills that just might set them free.

Reporter Amy O’Leary was fed up with her ex-boyfriend’s hard-drinking, when she discovered a French doctor’s memoir titled The End of My Addiction. The fix that he proposed seemed too good to be true. But her phone call with the doctor left her, and us, even more intrigued. Could this malady – so often seen as moral and spiritual – really be beaten back with a pill?

We talk to addiction researcher Dr. Anna Rose Childress, addiction psychologist Dr. Mark Willenbring, journalist Gabrielle Glaser, The National Institute of Health’s Dr. Nora Volkow, and scores of people dealing with substance abuse as we try to figure out whether we’re in the midst of a sea change in how we think about addiction.

Produced by Andy Mills with Simon Adler

If you are someone looking for help with a substance abuse problem and want to find health care services in your area, check out this map from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration.

For more on Dr. Mark Willenbring and the Alltyr Clinic visit their website.

If you’d like to hear more from Nora Volkow you can watch her speech from this summer’s American Psychiatric Association’s annual meeting.

Or watch her and other top addiction researchers at last year’s World Science Fair

Silent Lucidity

Recovery is a place you learn to face your fears. Walk through the fear. But not only that express the fear in a healthy way if need be to better overcome it. Writing, sharing, crying, praying, are all healthy ways to relieve the very fear that is at the core of addiction.

Wells Fargo is Being Hacked I Have Proof

I apologize to everyone that the proof I had mysteriously disappeared from my files so I deleted the webpage.  However if you have questions just email me at edgarlaura826@yahoo.com

I will say this.  Wells fargo posts to “pending transactions” first at which time the money is deducted from your balance.  Then once the authorization and transaction have been completed the “pending transaction” disappears and is placed just below in “posted transactions”.

The way I was being hacked was this; Once a legit charge of mine went from pending to posted it would then disappear from posted.  Then it would reappear in pending as a new charge and the process would start again.   The money would be deducted a second time.  The only difference was the date of the authorization had changed to 24 hrs later.  And the routing numbers which the money is sent to of course would go to the hackers.  So the only way to verify weather I was hacked or not is by the date and the routing numbers which only Wells Fargo has.  I feel I should have access to any banks routing numbers if I am sending them money.  I shouldn’t have to call Wells Fargo to verify that what says is “Wal-mart” is in fact a “Walmart” bank account.  Just because it says it’s Walmart doesn’t mean the money is actually being sent to a Wal-mart bank account.  This is a duplicate charge except the money goes to a different place.  I cannot believe Wells Fargo doesn’t have safe guards against sending money to an account that says “Walmart” yet is actually Joe Hacker.

I should add, this happened over and over.  I changed to a new W.F. account and it started again.  They were not hacking my online account because I can’t erase transactions and put new ones in.  Obviously they had full authority to move numbers around.  I should also say that W.F. did give me my money back every time I reported it.  But the thing is, it’s a hard thing to catch if you have allot of transactions rushing through your account.  What I do now is follow the money.  Every day I check my account and make copies of the activity.  That way if a completed transaction get’s erased I have proof.  And this was the proof I had that it was happening.  I don’t know what happened to the data.  And yes they used Wal-mart and several other debits that are common to my account.  But they made the mistake of taking money when I had very small balances.  They are brazen absolutely brazen  And highly intelligent.

For now W.F. has gotten them OUT of my account…but I am watching.

Please Help with a Kitty Donation

https://www.gofundme.com/2myde2k/donate

Sick Cat

Hello,
My name is Pumpkin-head. I have been the best friend of Rick M. for close to ten years.  Rick is on Social Security and he is looking for work. You see, he’s trying to save/extend my life. Two weeks ago I was diagnosed with kidney disease. There is no cure, and sadly it will eventually kill me.
There is a special diet and there are medicines that will make me comfortable and extend my life, but they are very expensive–especially for  a man on a fixed income. Last week he put $2000.00 on a credit card that he wonders how he will pay, but he worries more about me than the credit card bill.
Until I am off of the medicines (in 6 weeks), it is costing him close to a hundred dollars a week to keep me comfortable and happy. I don’t know how much longer he can keep it up–but I’m so thankful to him. I love him, and do not want to leave him. He loves me so much.
Anything you can do to help him and me will be greatly appreciated.
Love You,
Pumpkin-head
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