What Beatings Did for my Self-Identity
Why I chose to become a drug addict.
Firstly who can justify beating with a belt or even an open hand little baby girls. We were beautiful and innocent babies who had not even learned right from wrong.
My heart is broken. I spent the first 17 years of my life learning from those I trusted and loved most what a horrible person I was. I learned it from my father who I now loath. Thing is I had no idea what child abuse looked like so I blamed myself for every beating, verbal belittling, rejections, abandonments, and violent strike my father gave me before the age of 5. Who allows their little daughter of 3 or 4 to walk into a pile of hot coals? I suffered 3rd degree burns on my butt and legs for my parents….neglect was it? I remember the mail man bringing me home at the age of 3 because I wondered down the highway with no supervision.
Firstly how in the hell does a man justify beating a little 3 or 4 year old girl. It sickens me. Father; you taught me I was literally disgusting. He taught me that my young and excited hopes and dreams were ridiculous and I could not possibly attain any of them. He taught me who I was. He was my teacher and he showed me I scarcely had a right to be on this earth. All my feelings were wrong he said. All my ideas were wrong. By the time I was 4 or 5 I remember wanting to cut my body because it was reprehensible.
Continue reading “Legal Child Abuse and Parental Neglect Iced over with Ignorance”