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Commentary of controversy:
Dr. Bob exhibits a degree of insecurity about staying sober in the essay below. Dr. Bob mentions that when he thinks about having a drink (at 13 years sober) he knows what to do, he goes to see the boys in detox.
Yes an ego based sense of security in recovery can be a dangerous road to relapse no matter how long we have been sober. Sobriety time is not what keeps us sober. But there is a thing called healthy security based and grounded in 12 step work, a relationship with God and the knowledge the program works.
Seems to me there are quite a few addicts who don’t know the difference between ego false pride the dangerous kind and healthy self confidence. Seems some addicts think they have to exhibit false humility to stay sober. We in AA routinely socially punch holes in our overall worth in spite of our child of God status.
So what? If I finally learn/build some self esteem from doing the 12 step work I now need to negate it with false humility? If we know the program works, and we have a choice then why would our sobriety be built on thin ice? And why would me announcing my thin ice foundation be anything more than a public exhibit of false humility.
Typical statements by people with years sober: “I am no more secure than someone who just walked in AA and knows absolutely nothing about staying sober”, or “I am an arms length from the next drink just like the gutter drunk who doesn’t know the 12 steps”. When does years of sobriety and knowledge become self confidence? Seriously it’s not insecurity or fear that keeps us sober. It’s not downgrading our recovery that keeps us sober.
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