AA Juggernaut #2

Please try to apply this to yourself or it won’t do you any good.  Open your mind to free your identity.

Prayer and step three are a prerequisite to all recovery steps and exercises for guidance and direction, for revelation, and epiphany, for self awareness and cutting through the ego .
AA status quos are the AA Juggernauts  that can kill you.  We must allow ourselves to become vulnerable emotionally if we are going to heal.  We must not allow our intellect to stifle what our heart needs to say.  The AA Juggernaut is to follow socially acceptable rules during our recovery process.  By this we would cover up our heart and hide it from real recovery.

My recovery from addiction in short has been about

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We’re All Here for the Very Same Reason

AA Can you help me unravel my latest mistake? Damn right we can.
“You’re a little late..I’m already torn, torn.”

It is progress to realize one is emotionally torn. This is the first step in emotional healing. Emotions, Body, and spirit in us are as one….We need not label our emotions “bad” or “weak” but rather embrace them as part of us. Take up the defensive angry screaming ego known as the “committee” and nurture that part of ourselves with Love, comfort, and assurance. During step eleven meditations I can reassure that part of me which is defensively reactionary when fear is triggered.

My “addict” (persay) wears a stone cold armor of defense and blame so I

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Dr. Bob’s Last Major Talk

Click here to read Dr. Bob’s Last Major Talk

Commentary of controversy:

Dr. Bob exhibits a degree of insecurity about staying sober in the essay below.   Dr. Bob mentions that when he thinks about having a drink (at 13 years sober) he knows what to do, he goes to see the boys in detox.

Yes an ego based sense of security in recovery can be a dangerous road to relapse no matter how long we have been sober.  Sobriety time is not what keeps us sober.  But there is a thing called healthy security based and grounded in 12 step work, a relationship with God and the knowledge the program works.

Seems to me there are quite a few addicts who don’t know the difference between ego false pride the dangerous kind and healthy self confidence.  Seems some addicts think they have to exhibit false humility to stay sober.  We in AA routinely socially punch holes in our overall worth in spite of our child of God status.

So what?  If I finally learn/build some self esteem from doing the 12 step work I now need to negate it with false humility?   If we know the program works, and we have a choice then why would our sobriety be built on thin ice?  And why would me announcing my thin ice foundation be anything more than a public exhibit of false humility.

Typical statements by people with years sober: “I am no more secure than someone who just walked in AA and knows absolutely nothing about staying sober”, or “I am an arms length from the next drink just like the gutter drunk who doesn’t know the 12 steps”.  When does years of sobriety and knowledge become self confidence?  Seriously it’s not insecurity or fear that keeps us sober.  It’s not downgrading our recovery that keeps us sober.

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Watch What You Say Online The Governments have a List of Trigger Words

They have a list of trigger words and the computers to search for them.   Big brother can scan the posts and comments of every social media site online.  What in the hell are they really looking for?   This doesn’t seem to be the tactics of a freedom advocating government.  Does free speech still exist?

Watch this Urgent Video. Doing a step eleven can be a survival tool.

See all the entire list of words you need to avoid online just to feel safe from wrongful attention by some possible over-zealous men in black suites driving black SUV’s.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2150281/REVEALED-Hundreds-words-avoid-using-online-dont-want-government-spying-you.html Oh boy! They might get bored if they follow my web surfing. Or they will learn to eat organic.


Meditation article

The Heart of a Maneater the “Bad Little Girl”!

THE HEART OF A MANEATER.  By Laura Edgar

By the dime store psychologist.  If you came from FB Friends of Bill and Bob scroll past videos to continue reading.   I copied that post starting at “Introducing the Maneater” below.

Low self image is at he core of most active addicts hearts. The ego picks up where a broken identity drops the ball.

Did the Primary teaching voice of your formative years often sound like this? (granted most people don’t remember until they spend years in therapy, meditation, and prayer coupled with self-awareness exercises.)

“You’re a Bad little girl/boy!  How could you do such a thing, again?   Don’t do that, don’t act like that, don’t be like that and don’t feel like that!  You’re wrong, wrong, wrong everything that comes from your little heart is wrong”.  And then here’s the worst quote of all folks: “You shouldn’t FEEL that way! Your feelings are wrong! Your ideas are stupid and you should be ashamed of yourself.   Don’t cry!  Cry baby!  That’s nothing to cry about!  That’s nothing to be afraid of!  Chicken shit…scaredy cat..and worse. We are programmed to hide our fears, weaknesses, and hearts truths.

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Is Your A.A. Sponsor your Army Sergeant?

What is the best kind of sponsor?

There has been a long standing debate in A.A. about what kind of sponsor is right.  The kind who is loving, caring, considerate, respectful, informative, giving, truthful, and assertive.  Or the kind who says “I am not here to be your friend, get off your lazy low-life ass and do this work.” Or as one man shared recently about a man in A.A. who “saved his life” by saying to him early on in recovery “FUCK YOUR FEELINGS”.  OUCH! I SAY OUCH TO THAT.  But it worked for him.  It got his attention he said.  But not all emotional pain is self-pity, on the contrary.  Trauma needs to be expressed to come out.

Granted keep in mind in our scenario both sponsors are teaching the twelve steps and the traditions from the Big Book.  The personalities are just an added flavor or bi-product of their Sponsorship.

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Spirituality Is Like Swimming

Spirituality is like swimming I explained to my sister Brenda.  You dip your soul, spirit, and body into the presence of God and you swim in joyous distractions from every negative reality that once brought you low.  You feel good.  For me a burden was lifted and black cloud on my soul, removed.  After my spiritual experience the joy and peace that only the supernatural can provide blanketed me.  My choices are different than they used to be.  I have never been the same…thank God!  I love humans again or…maybe for the first time I love other women.  I was unaffected by negativity because my perception was one of spiritual insight.  I saw the good in all things. Continue reading “Spirituality Is Like Swimming”

Genesis Chapter 6

Genesis 6 :: King James Version (KJV)


And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,

That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.


And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.

There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.


And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.


These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.

And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence.

And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.

And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.

Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.

And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.

And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die.

But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons’ wives with thee.

And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female.

Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.

And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them.

Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.