My Experience and Opinions for reasons people become addicts do not negate the need to do 12 step work, get a sponsor, and make amends etc to recover..
There is a valid reason you do not want to feel
If you ended up in the psych ward due to some antics you engaged in because of addiction or alcoholism then it’s time. Are you done? There is a reason that you feel better when your numb. There is a reason that you are uncomfortable in your own skin. As a matter of fact…since I have been sober over 14 years this time I have learned exactly the precise and many varied reasons I was uncomfortable and down right ashamed in my own skin.