Tag: 12 steps

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Why Addiction?

 

My name is Laura Edgar.  I got sober in 2006 and have stayed sober in AA and with therapy and spirituality for 7 years then I quit going to meetings.  That was about five years ago, I am still sober presently  and have nearly 12 years with very few meetings in the last five years.  Do I recommends this?  No.  Do I believe you can do the same?  Absolutely and here is how.

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Addiction Cunning & Baffling Indeed

THE BAFFLING PART OF ADDICTION EXPLAINED. How does an emotional pain morph into spiritual blindness and darkness that would cause a man to self destruct?
Clearing up the EMOTIONAL wreckage of the past makes us less vulnerable to actions of fear and hurt toward self and others. Confessing our greatest fear(s) DOES render them powerless over us. In this sense we ARE as sick as our secrets. Shame is the leverage of darkness. Yet “shame” is something humans seldom want to explore within themselves to irrigate it with light. Why?

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AA Juggernaut #2

Please try to apply this to yourself or it won’t do you any good.  Open your mind to free your identity.

Prayer and step three are a prerequisite to all recovery steps and exercises for guidance and direction, for revelation, and epiphany, for self awareness and cutting through the ego .
AA status quos are the AA Juggernauts  that can kill you.  We must allow ourselves to become vulnerable emotionally if we are going to heal.  We must not allow our intellect to stifle what our heart needs to say.  The AA Juggernaut is to follow socially acceptable rules during our recovery process.  By this we would cover up our heart and hide it from real recovery.

My recovery from addiction in short has been about

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Dr. Bob’s Last Major Talk

Click here to read Dr. Bob’s Last Major Talk

Commentary of controversy:

Dr. Bob exhibits a degree of insecurity about staying sober in the essay below.   Dr. Bob mentions that when he thinks about having a drink (at 13 years sober) he knows what to do, he goes to see the boys in detox.

Yes an ego based sense of security in recovery can be a dangerous road to relapse no matter how long we have been sober.  Sobriety time is not what keeps us sober.  But there is a thing called healthy security based and grounded in 12 step work, a relationship with God and the knowledge the program works.

Seems to me there are quite a few addicts who don’t know the difference between ego false pride the dangerous kind and healthy self confidence.  Seems some addicts think they have to exhibit false humility to stay sober.  We in AA routinely socially punch holes in our overall worth in spite of our child of God status.

So what?  If I finally learn/build some self esteem from doing the 12 step work I now need to negate it with false humility?   If we know the program works, and we have a choice then why would our sobriety be built on thin ice?  And why would me announcing my thin ice foundation be anything more than a public exhibit of false humility.

Typical statements by people with years sober: “I am no more secure than someone who just walked in AA and knows absolutely nothing about staying sober”, or “I am an arms length from the next drink just like the gutter drunk who doesn’t know the 12 steps”.  When does years of sobriety and knowledge become self confidence?  Seriously it’s not insecurity or fear that keeps us sober.  It’s not downgrading our recovery that keeps us sober.

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Watch What You Say Online The Governments have a List of Trigger Words

They have a list of trigger words and the computers to search for them.   Big brother can scan the posts and comments of every social media site online.  What in the hell are they really looking for?   This doesn’t seem to be the tactics of a freedom advocating government.  Does free speech still exist?

Watch this Urgent Video. Doing a step eleven can be a survival tool.

See all the entire list of words you need to avoid online just to feel safe from wrongful attention by some possible over-zealous men in black suites driving black SUV’s.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2150281/REVEALED-Hundreds-words-avoid-using-online-dont-want-government-spying-you.html Oh boy! They might get bored if they follow my web surfing. Or they will learn to eat organic.


Meditation article

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The Heart of a Maneater the “Bad Little Girl”!

THE HEART OF A MANEATER.  By Laura Edgar

By the dime store psychologist.  If you came from FB Friends of Bill and Bob scroll past videos to continue reading.   I copied that post starting at “Introducing the Maneater” below.

Low self image is at he core of most active addicts hearts. The ego picks up where a broken identity drops the ball.

Did the Primary teaching voice of your formative years often sound like this? (granted most people don’t remember until they spend years in therapy, meditation, and prayer coupled with self-awareness exercises.)

“You’re a Bad little girl/boy!  How could you do such a thing, again?   Don’t do that, don’t act like that, don’t be like that and don’t feel like that!  You’re wrong, wrong, wrong everything that comes from your little heart is wrong”.  And then here’s the worst quote of all folks: “You shouldn’t FEEL that way! Your feelings are wrong! Your ideas are stupid and you should be ashamed of yourself.   Don’t cry!  Cry baby!  That’s nothing to cry about!  That’s nothing to be afraid of!  Chicken shit…scaredy cat..and worse. We are programmed to hide our fears, weaknesses, and hearts truths.

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Is Your A.A. Sponsor your Army Sergeant?

What is the best kind of sponsor?

There has been a long standing debate in A.A. about what kind of sponsor is right.  The kind who is loving, caring, considerate, respectful, informative, giving, truthful, and assertive.  Or the kind who says “I am not here to be your friend, get off your lazy low-life ass and do this work.” Or as one man shared recently about a man in A.A. who “saved his life” by saying to him early on in recovery “FUCK YOUR FEELINGS”.  OUCH! I SAY OUCH TO THAT.  But it worked for him.  It got his attention he said.  But not all emotional pain is self-pity, on the contrary.  Trauma needs to be expressed to come out.

Granted keep in mind in our scenario both sponsors are teaching the twelve steps and the traditions from the Big Book.  The personalities are just an added flavor or bi-product of their Sponsorship.

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Spirituality Is Like Swimming

Spirituality is like swimming I explained to my sister Brenda.  You dip your soul, spirit, and body into the presence of God and you swim in joyous distractions from every negative reality that once brought you low.  You feel good.  For me a burden was lifted and black cloud on my soul, removed.  After my spiritual experience the joy and peace that only the supernatural can provide blanketed me.  My choices are different than they used to be.  I have never been the same…thank God!  I love humans again or…maybe for the first time I love other women.  I was unaffected by negativity because my perception was one of spiritual insight.  I saw the good in all things. Continue reading “Spirituality Is Like Swimming”

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