Every addict has one thing in common, self punishment. Until we figure out and heal from whatever it is we feel we must punish ourselves for our addiction will remain a mystery. Clearly those who punish themselves must in some subconscious way feel they can beat themselves to a point of rendering their identity clean and clear from self loathing once again.
However, that is a sick attempts at getting well. It’s an attempt which is seldom realized by the punisher. And while we are in this state we also project our punishing onto those around us, often those we love most.
In The Beginning
My answer to the question “what was I numbing when I was using drugs and alcohol addictively?”
I had to numb my fear, shame, and intense feeling of inferiority.
For me, at a young age I was taught (in so many words and lessons)
that the whole world of people were all superior to me in every way. And that everything about me was wrong both inside and out. Therefore, I had to hide my
identity so no one would see how bad and wrong I was. Of course I had no idea of this at the time.
It took years of work to understand the emotional inner workings of my subconscious.
And so with this starke, devastating truth of who and what I was (inferior) I had to shut down and transform into someone else.
I (my true heart) became a prisoner in my own
mind always living/acting as status quos dictated, trying to be someone else. I was sold a bill
of goods and commenced to live up to what I was sold.
Continue reading “The Story of an Addict Who Recovered”
Organic High Grade Marijuana and Spirituality
What’s the Link? (article written by Brenda Lane) Pertaining to addiction recovery.
The prospect of a spiritual tool like pot to help enable a spiritual experience of awakening isn’t something we should do often. It’s kindred to going into the mountains, taking peyote, and facing your demons. If your used to high grade pot it will not work. If you smoke pot recreationally it will not work because your too used to it.
I don’t advise meditation without the covering of Jesus. Furthermore I don’t even advise smoking pot without the covering of Jesus. I meditate in Christ covered by His sacred blood that He shed on the Cross, and by His Spirit. Why? I would not feel safe seeking the spirit realm without spiritual protection. It’s not wise at all.
2. But isn’t meditation evil according to Christians?
“And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.”
Yes Christians on the most part think meditation and even the sacred crystals written of in the Bible are evil. Satan has done his job well convincing us to only talk and never LISTEN to God. Training your mind to listen to God is what meditation is about in my book.
Moreover how is getting quiet and seeking a closer relationship with God evil? How is using the Lords prayer as a mantra and envisioning it word for word evil? The reason to do this is to train our minds to think on one thought and not stray. Once we have succeeded with this we can empty our minds. Is that also evil? And all this should be done (if you are a Christian) to seek Jesus, have self revelation of our fears, hurts, shame, and improve our godly walk.
How to meditate
If pot was or is your drug of choice, or if you see it as a chronic and addictive solution to fear and your emotional condition then pot meditation does not apply to you. If you believe addiction is about the substance rather than a person’s heart and mind then this article does not apply to you and won’t make sense. Clearly there are people whom pot simply didn’t work for in their addiction. These are the very people who can benefit most from an occasional organic high grade Marijuana meditation session.
Continue reading “Organic Marijuana and Spirituality”