THE GAPING HOLE IN A.A.’s PROGRAM

THE GAPING HOLE IN ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

ABOUT 12 STEP PROGRAMS

The only hole in the 12 steps of AA is the lack of empathy by the prerequisite that we are never victims.  The rule (paraphrased see below for full quote) that when there is something bothering us it is always our fault (that we are disturbed) makes way for more shame, guilt, and self punishment.   There is a horrific absence of a way to process abuse, neglect, and emotional trauma.  Emotional hurts and pains are often written off by members as either self-pity or unfounded and selfish character defects.  Furthermore insinuating that emotions are “wrong” says that I as a person am “wrong” because my feelings are a part of me and they emerge from my heart.

pg. 417 BB

“When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes”

The notion that nothing happens in God’s world by accident, well that would mean we have no free-will and humans are nothing short of robots.  We do not have to go to such extremes to make the point that God works in our lives.  The reason people use extremes in conversation is they have spent a life-time not being heard and feel they must exaggerate to be heard at all.  Understandable.

If there were another set of steps to address the wrongs done to us resulting in deep wounds, and emotional devastation the program would be more successful I believe.  These deep emotional wounds have caused the addict much pain. Pain is the very reason that many of us drank and drugged.  WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO PROCESS EMOTIONAL HURTS RATHER THAN BEING ASHAMED OF OUR VULNERABILITIES AND HIDING THEM AWAY.

Trauma is not an outside issue.  But rather it is THE Issue.  Trauma and emotional disorder is the WHY behind the addiction.

Please don’t hear what I am not saying.  12 step programs are good and have helped millions including myself.   There are some really twisted common belief systems running rampant in AA and NA  .

One common dogma I have seen often is a kind of jealousy over the program.  People will get angry and down right mean if you say that therapy or church or even rehab centers have helped to keep you sober.

We shouldn’t knock supplemental  healing and recovery methods till we’ve tried them.  If people have found “a cure” for addiction and are sharing it who are we to say it’s not successful?  Many  people find answers in places other than AA.  The problem is some addicts who still suffer from low self-worth often attach their own identities to the program.   These insecure addicts seem to think if there is another solution offered other than AA it is a direct reflection on them and not in a good way.

There is an unwritten rule if we don’t wear the identity of ‘sick addict’ or ‘alcoholic, addict’ then our egos will take flight and we will relapse straight away.  If we don’t repeatedly identify ourselves as addicts we will then believe we can drink and drug successfully.  Really, AA and NA are programs designed by addicts, there are bound to be some flaws.  But now advertisements on TV and online are claiming there is a cure.   So the dry drunk AA-er feels put-down by the prospect of a true cure.  The dogma of AA teaches us that the minute we feel cured and no longer need meetings we are sicker than ever.  When really the actual danger lies in the belief that we can drink like normal people.  But alcoholics have an allergy to alcohol that will not disappear except by some rare miracle.

What’s The Cure?

If we truly work the steps, open up in long term therapy, and find our Higher Power we will be cured.  Not cured to drink again, rather cured to not want to drink again, we won’t see drinking as a solution.  Still it’s important also to have fellowship, not necessarily in a program.    Anxiety and depression can be cured as well. Why do so many people get outside help, including Bill W?   We don’t have to fear the word “emotional disorder”. All it means is our healthy emotional process has been stifled.  Often the reason we have stifled it is usually that we were taught at a young age our feelings and processes were wrong. Regaining a healthy emotional process and using it on our most intense past hurts is how we heal core issues and truly recover with God’s help.   It doesn’t mean that AA or Bill W is bad or wrong, it just means that no one taught Bill W this aspect of healing. He was human and did not have all the answers.

Any Negativity is a Character Defect

You don’t take deep pains and hurts and tag them as character defects. That’s absurd and crying is not self pity but rather a key healthy emotional process.  The grieving process starts with feeling the pain not shutting it down.  If we move straight into the “my part (what I did wrong in the past)” and character defects without processing our core pains and hurts of how we were wronged then all we are doing is putting a band-aid on an infected sore.

Why do people scream “OUTSIDE ISSUE” in the rooms whenever someone starts talking about child abuse.  Abuse and neglect are why people become addicts and those who scream “outside issue” the loudest are most likely trying to further repress their own abuse as a child.  People love to sit in the rooms after a horrific bout of drug abuse and swear they had a wonderful childhood.  Many people have no idea what neglect and abuse looks like.  But I guarantee, if these people would actually take meditation seriously and do it on a regular basis, they would most likely remember some form of childhood trauma.

Resentments are never valid-false

All feelings are valid.  Feelings come from our heart, a place of truth.  We get angry for a valid reason.  It’s hanging on to that anger rather than letting it flow out of us in a non harmful way that gets us in trouble and gets us sick with resentment.

Children don’t usually get angry toward adults for no reason at all.  If we were harmed, and many of us were then we are legitimate victims.  Not everything is ‘our fault’ so we mustn’t treat it as if it were.  Sharing our trauma with an understanding and empathic listener who will point out the validity of our hurt and show caring understanding is where the healing begins.   Statements like “I know how you feel”  or “I was abused also and the man is a son of a bitch to do what he did”, shows support, relating, caring and validation.  Empathy not spankings are needed for healing wounds.  And the thing is, many addicts are badly wounded.    Emotional issues are not an outside issue separate from addiction, they are, I believe the biggest reasons behind addiction.

 

 

A Thousand Gods to Choose From

A THOUSAND HIGHER POWERS TO CHOOSE FROM

HOW DO I CHOOSE A HIGHER POWER

But wouldn’t you want the most powerful God of ALL for your Higher Power?  I must say before delving into these magnanimous gods.  My own Higher Power is Jesus Christ and God the Father creator of all gods both high, low, gracious, and dark. (I believe)  Bible reads “all things are of God”.  Unfortunately I have found that few Christians read, much less believe what their own Bible tells them.  Think about it truly.  God created both light and dark.  It is also written,

“Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?” Meaning God created both sheep and goats out of the same lump of clay.

On that note please feel free to read my book “PARADISE FOR THE HELLBOUND”http://www.amazon.com/Paradise-For-The-Hellbound-Laura-ebook/dp/B017ERF86W

2 Corinthians 5:18

 “And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;”

 

Step 2 and Step 3 of Alcoholics Anonymous tells us we should choose a Higher Power to work the steps.

 

(The blue print is commentary by Laura Edgar)

 

HOW TO TRULY FIND AND CONNECT WITH YOUR OWN HIGHER POWER

Immortals

Article from Wikipedia

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Greek_mythological_figures
The Greeks created images of their deities for many purposes. A temple would house the statue of a god or goddess, or multiple deities, and might be decorated with relief scenes depicting myths. Divine images were common on coins. Drinking cups and other vessels were painted with scenes from Greek myths.
Major gods and goddesses
Deity Description

god 240px-NAMA_Aphrodite_Syracuse

This goddess would be a fine choice.  I don’t think you can go wrong with Love.

NAMA Aphrodite Syracuse.jpg Aphrodite (Ἀφροδίτη, Aphroditē)
Goddess of beauty, love, desire, and pleasure. Although married to Hephaestus she had many lovers, most notably Ares, Adonis, and Anchises. She was depicted as a beautiful woman, poets praise the radiance of her smile and laughter. Her symbols include roses and other flowers, the scallop shell, and myrtle wreath. Her sacred animals are doves and sparrows. Her Roman counterpart was Venus.

god 800px-7348_-_Piraeus_Arch._Museum,_Athens_-_Athena_-_Photo_by_Giovanni_Dall'Orto,_Nov_14_2009

Another fine choice for a god (Higher Power).

Apollo, lira, dan angsa.jpg Apollo (Ἀπόλλων, Apóllōn)
God of music, arts, knowledge, healing, plague, prophecy, poetry, manly beauty, and archery. He is the son of Zeus and Leto, and the twin brother of Artemis. Both Apollo and Artemis use a bow and arrow. Apollo is often identified as the god of the sun but that is a mistake, Helios is the god of the sun. He become the god of the sun when Rome took the Greek gods and made them their own. In the earliest myths, Apollo contends with his half-brother Hermes. In sculpture, Apollo was depicted as a very handsome, beardless young man with long hair and an ideal physique. As the embodiment of perfectionism, he could be cruel and destructive, and his love affairs were rarely happy; One example was his fruitless pursuit of the Forest nymph Daphne, with his large ego he angered Eros (cupid), which caused Apollo to be shot with an arrow of love and Daphne with a lead arrow of hate. The nymph was turned into a laurel bush, leaving Apollo to worship its leaves. His attributes include the laurel wreath and lyre. He often appears in the company of the Muses. Animals sacred to Apollo include roe deer, swans, cicadas, hawks, ravens, crows, foxes, mice, and snakes. His Roman counterpart was also named Apollo.

god 800px-Ares_Canope_Villa_Adriana_b

I wouldn’t choose this god if I were you, unless your in the army or are at risk of sudden battle and wars.  In which case if you pray to this god he may very likely cause you to excel in your status as a soldier.  And who knows what else he could do for you.

Ares Canope Villa Adriana b.jpg Ares (Ἄρης, Árēs)
God of war, bloodshed, and violence. The son of Zeus and Hera, he was depicted as a beardless youth, either nude with a helmet and spear or sword, or as an armed warrior. Homer portrays him as moody and unreliable, and he generally represents the chaos of war in contrast Athena, a goddess of military strategy and skill. Ares’ sacred animals are the vulture, venomous snakes, dogs, and boars. His Roman counterpart Mars by contrast was regarded as the dignified ancestor of the Roman people. Brother of Hephaestus, also had an affair with his wife Aphrodite, which later Apollo revealed to Hephaestus.

god Diane_de_Versailles_Leochares

Diane de Versailles Leochares.jpg Artemis (Ἄρτεμις, Ártemis)
Virgin goddess of the hunt, wilderness, animals, young girls, childbirth, and the plague. She is often mistaken for the goddess of the moon but that is in fact Selene. In later times she became associated with bows and arrows. She is the daughter of Zeus and Leto, and Apollo’s twin sister. In art she was often depicted as a young woman dressed in a short knee-length chiton and equipped with a hunting bow and a quiver of arrows. Her attributes include hunting spears, animal pelts, deer and other wild animals. Her sacred animals are deer, bears, and wild boars. Diana was her Roman counterpart.

Athena_Enkelados_Louvre_CA3662

7348 – Piraeus Arch. Museum, Athens – Athena – Photo by Giovanni Dall’Orto, Nov 14 2009.jpg Athena (Ἀθηνᾶ, Athēnâ)
Goddess of intelligence, skill, peace, warfare, battle strategy, handicrafts, and wisdom. According to most traditions, she was born from Zeus’s head fully formed and armored. She was depicted crowned with a crested helm, armed with shield and a spear, and wearing the aegis over a long dress. Poets describe her as “grey-eyed” or having especially bright, keen eyes. She was a special patron of heroes such as Odysseus. She was also the patron of the city Athens (which was named after her) Her symbol is the olive tree. She is commonly shown accompanied by her sacred animal, the owl. The Romans identified her with Minerva.
Eleusinian hydria Antikensammlung Berlin 1984.46 n2.jpg Demeter (Δημήτηρ, Dēmētēr)
Goddess of grain, agriculture and the harvest, growth and nourishment. Demeter is a daughter of Cronus and Rhea and sister of Zeus, by whom she bore Persephone. She was one of the main deities of the Eleusinian Mysteries, in which her power over the life cycle of plants symbolized the passage of the human soul through its life course and into the afterlife. She was depicted as a mature woman, often crowned and holding sheafs of wheat and a torch. Her symbols are the cornucopia, wheat-ears, the winged serpent, and the lotus staff. Her sacred animals are pigs and snakes. Ceres was her Roman counterpart.

god Hera_Campana_Louvre_Ma2283
Dionysos Louvre Ma87 n2.jpg Dionysus (Διόνυσος, Diónysos)/Bacchus (Βάκχος, Bákkhos)

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T PICK THIS GOD IF YOU ARE TRYING TO RECOVER FROM ADDICTIONS.  SHE IS THE GOD OF WINE, DRUGS, ECSTASY AND MADNESS!

God of wine, parties and festivals, madness, chaos, drunkenness, drugs, and ecstasy. The idea was originally from ancient Chios. This was his “home”. He was depicted in art as either an older bearded god or a pretty effeminate, long-haired youth. His attributes include the thyrsus (a pinecone-tipped staff), drinking cup, grape vine, and a crown of ivy. He is often in the company of his thiasos, a posse of attendants including satyrs, maenads, and his old tutor Silenus. The consort of Dionysus was Ariadne. Animals sacred to him include dolphins, serpents, tigers, and donkeys. A later addition to the Olympians, in some accounts he replaced Hestia. Bacchus was another name for him in Greek, and came into common usage among the Romans.

god Hades-et-Cerberus-III

AS A CHRISTIAN, I WOULDN’T BE SO QUICK TO DISCOUNT THESE GREEK GODS AS HERESY AND FALSE GODS.  For even “Hades” is listed in the Bible and is widely believed as a place in which Christians could end up if they are not careful”.

Hades-et-Cerberus-III.jpg Hades (ᾍδης, Hádēs)/Pluto (Πλούτων, Ploutōn)
King of the underworld and the dead, and god of regret. His consort is Persephone. His attributes are the drinking horn or cornucopia, key, sceptre, and the three-headed dog Cerberus. The screech owl was sacred to him. He was one of three sons of Cronus and Rhea, and thus sovereign over one of the three realms of the universe, the underworld. As a chthonic god, however, his place among the Olympians is ambiguous. In the mystery religions and Athenian literature, Pluto (Plouton, “the Rich”) was his preferred name, with Hades more common for the underworld as a place. The Romans translated Plouton as Dis Pater (“the Rich Father”) or Pluto.
Vulcan Coustou Louvre MR1814.jpg Hephaestus (Ἥφαιστος, Hḗphaistos)
Crippled god of fire, metalworking, and crafts. Either the son of Zeus and Hera or Hera alone, he is the smith of the gods and the husband of the adulterous Aphrodite. He was usually depicted as a bearded man with hammer, tongs and anvil—the tools of a smith—and sometimes riding a donkey. His sacred animals are the donkey, the guard dog and the crane. Among his creations was the armor of Achilles. Hephaestus used the fire of the forge as a creative force, but his Roman counterpart Vulcan was feared for his destructive potential and associated with the volcanic power of the earth.
Hera Campana Louvre Ma2283.jpg Hera (Ἥρα, Hḗra)
Queen of the gods and goddess of marriage, women, childbirth, heirs, kings, and empires. She is the wife and sister of Zeus and daughter of Cronus and Rhea. She was usually depicted as a regal woman in the prime of her life, wearing a diadem and veil and holding a lotus-tipped staff. Although she was the goddess of marriage, Zeus’s many infidelities drive her to jealousy and vengefulness. One Iconic affair was one he had with Alcmene, which bore him a son, Heracles. There are several versions with one being that she sent snakes to kill Heracles and another where she adopts him and nurses him. Her sacred animals are the heifer, the peacock, and the cuckoo. In Rome she was known as Juno.

Hermes Ingenui Pio-Clementino Inv544″ by Marie-Lan Nguyen (2009). Licensed under Public Domain via Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hermes_Ingenui_Pio-Clementino_Inv544.jpg#/media/File:Hermes_Ingenui_Pio-Clementino_Inv544.jpg

god 800px-Hermes_Ingenui_Pio-Clementino_Inv544

Hermes Ingenui Pio-Clementino Inv544.jpg Hermes (Ἑρμῆς, Hērmēs)
God of boundaries, travel, communication, trade, language, and writing. The son of Zeus and Maia, Hermes is the messenger of the gods, and a psychopomp who leads the souls of the dead into the afterlife. He was depicted either as a handsome and athletic beardless youth, or as an older bearded man. His attributes include the herald’s wand or caduceus, winged sandals, and a traveler’s cap. His sacred animals are the tortoise.
Hestia – Wellesley College – DSC09634.JPG Hestia (Ἑστία, Hestía)
Virgin goddess of the hearth, home and chastity. She is a daughter of Rhea and Cronus and sister of Zeus. Not often identifiable in Greek art, she appeared as a modestly veiled woman. Her symbols are the hearth and kettle. In some accounts, she gave up her seat as one of the Twelve Olympians in favor of Dionysus, and she plays little role in Greek myths. Her counterpart Vesta, however, was a major deity of the Roman state.

GOD 0035MAN_Poseidon

“0035MAN Poseidon” by Ricardo André Frantz (User:Tetraktys) – taken by Ricardo André Frantz. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:0035MAN_Poseidon.jpg#/media/File:0035MAN_Poseidon.jpg
0035MAN Poseidon.jpg Poseidon (Ποσειδῶν, Poseidōn)
God of the sea, rivers, floods, droughts, and earthquakes. He is a son of Cronus and Rhea and brother of Zeus and Hades. He rules one of the three realms of the universe as king of the sea and the waters. In classical artwork, he was depicted as a mature man of sturdy build with an often luxuriant beard, and holding a trident. The horse and the dolphin are sacred to him. His wedding with Amphitrite is often presented as a triumphal procession. There are some stories that specify an affair with Medusa which led to her giving birth to Pegasus from her neck when Perseus sliced her head. His symbols are the trident, horse, dolphin, fish and bull. His Roman counterpart was Neptune.

Licensed under Public Domain via
god Jupiter_Smyrna_Louvre_Ma13

Jupiter Smyrna Louvre Ma13.jpg Zeus (Ζεύς, Zeus)
King and father of the gods, the ruler of Mount Olympus and the god of the sky, weather, thunder, lightning, law, order, and justice. He is the youngest son of Cronus and Rhea. He overthrew Cronus and gained the sovereignty of heaven for himself. In artwork, he was depicted as a regal, mature man with a sturdy figure and dark beard. His usual attributes are the royal scepter and the lightning bolt, and his sacred animals are the eagle and the bull. His counterpart Jupiter, also known as Jove, was the supreme deity of the Romans.
Primordial deities

SEE MORE GODS AT WIKI https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Greek_mythological_figures

IS OPRAH A NORMIE?

IS OPRAH A “NON-NORMIE”?

Basically this guy Jack Thomas had a website called non-normies.  Don’t go there though it no longer exists.  This guy -with a belly full of al-anon and a heart full of deep and painful resentment feels that non-normies… are out to destroy our country.  But his definition of “non-normies” includes ALL non-normies not just addicts in recovery.     Non-normies to Jack are any non-conformist types who don’t walk his straight and narrow criteria.  If you don’t have the conservative right wing, Rush Limbaugh type viewpoints you are out to take over and destroy the world.  And now he is super shocked and dismayed that even Oprah yes Oprah the sacred mother of Africa is actually a non-normie at heart.  Yikes!  So below we have the “about Jack Thomas the author” and then the article itself.  You be the judge.

ABOUT JACK THOMAS, a Recovering and Developing “Non-normie”

Jack Thomas, a seemingly ordinary guy with one emotionally destructive compulsion, was thrust into the ranks of Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous. There he recovered. In the process he gathered cryptic data about what may be the largest laboratory of non-normal people in existence.

Jack was addicted to relationships with self-destructive alcoholic women, stemming from his alcoholic mother. Having had numerous relationships with this type, he married a woman with a progressively worsening drinking problem.

The more he tried to cure her, including years of expensive therapy and a costly move, the worse the drinking became. Jack’s Pastor referred him to Al-Anon—an A.A. program for the co-alcoholic (codependent) relatives and friends of alcoholics.

There Jack learned that he didn’t cause her drinking and couldn’t cure it. He could only set sane boundaries. Jack told her to either go into detox or leave. At first she agreed to the treatment and his insurance approved it but, just before entering, she backed out and left.

Devastated, Jack plunged further into Al-Anon recovery, faithfully working all of the Twelve Steps and acquiring an excellent sponsor. Within two years he was sponsoring many new members, himself, while hosting the Introduction for Newcomers. During this time Jack took over the Alateen program, for children of alcoholics ages ten to teen in Torrance, CA, and ran it for three years. Then his Pastor asked him to design and lead a codependency recovery group, which he headed for several years, and soon he became a lay counselor for the church.

Fascinated with helping people recover, Jack jumped into learning even more about emotional disorders. He read the DSM III (The Psychiatrist’s “bible”) cover to cover, took courses, finished his Associates Degree and veraciously studied everything on the subject that he found.

He began to notice more and more commonalties amongst the emotionally non-normal (“non-normies”), cataloging them in a six-hundred page workbook. Also, all of them had large internal deposits of repressed anger that they didn’t want to give up—even though it appeared to be the root of their problem. Stockpiled rage had led to their developing emotionally driven personalities.

This motivated Jack to ask: If stored un-grieved (unprocessed) anger was the basis for people becoming emotionally non-normal, why would they cling to it if it was destroying them psychologically? The answer came after years of probing the hidden agendas and psyches of thousands of emotionally non-normal people that he encountered.

Those findings, along with how the emotionally driven non-normal personality was negatively affecting society, eventually resulted in the creation of the Web/Blog Site titled: www.non-normie.com

 

oprah3

IS OPRAH A “NON-NORMIE”?  Jacks article starts here.

Our “non-normie” of the day, today, is Orah Winfrey.
Say it ain’t so, Jack. Not Oprah.
Unfortunately, self-help expert Jack Thomas is holding to his guns and conducting Talk Show interviews giving reasons why Oprah is (Jack’s term) a non-normie.

The following is a column written by Jack Thomas justifying his classification of Oprah.

A week ago Monday, Bill O’Reilly did an expose of our non-normie of the day, today, Oprah Winfrey, when he pointed out that during the past two years she has had only four personalities who were even close to being mainstream conservative on her show. Those included Mel Gibson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, George W. Bush and Rudy Giuliani.

Conversely, the rest of her guests were virtually all polar-left non-normies. Those were Frank Rich, Michael Moore, Jane Fonda, Susan Sarandon, Al Gore, Barbra Streisand, Sean Penn, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Jon Stewart, George Clooney, Jim McGreevey and the like.

Bill went on to identify some best selling conservative authors who haven’t been on Oprah, like John Stossle, Pat Buchanan and Laura Ingram. Michelle Malkin called her a limousine liberal.

The reason why Bill was doing this segment was obvious. He has written four best selling books, including his current one titled “Culture Warrior,” not to mention 2005’s number one children’s book in America. Yet he has never been invited on Oprah’s show. Mr. O’Reilly was definitely putting pressure on Ms. Winfrey and it worked. Within twenty-four hours, he received a booking on Oprah to be taped today for a Friday broadcast.

Now what does that tell you about Oprah? I know what it tells me. It says, Jack you were right when you declared that polar-left non-normies are all cowards and that they have a hidden agenda which they fear being exposed. Oprah is obviously a polar-left non-normie who protects her caring and compassionate image as if it was the Holy Grail itself—because it is her holy grail.

This is not sour grapes. I don’t begrudge her success, nor do I envy her money. I do envy her power to influence, which is what I hope to do with my web site and radio interviews. But, contrary to her desires, I don’t wish to control people or their thought processes. I merely wish to provide information that they currently either don’t have or have neglected to understand. Once I accomplish that, I don’t even care if it’s attributed to me. My goal is to help normies comprehend the non-normie mindset and how insidious their subtle quest for power is changing our country for the worst. In fact, unless normies eventually do grasp the evil power of this emotional disease, they’ll be defeated by it and, later, they won’t even grasp why it happened.
FINISH READING at specialguest.com

WOULD MARRYING A CYBORG BE SICK CO-DA BEHAVIOR?

BUT NOW I HAVE AN EVEN BETTER QUESTION.  COULD YOUNG SEXY ROBOTS PUT AN END TO CHILD ABUSE?

You might consider the possibility when you see these up and coming anatomically correct dolls.  furthermore scientists are very close to making them highly interactive.  They will talk back, react, and have their own personalities.

Would marrying a cyborg be considered codependent and rooted in addiction?

Would marrying a cyborg be a sin?

SKIP TO THE SEX DOLL PRODUCTION VIDEOS

You wouldn’t really have to “work” at the relationship because the owner of the cyborg would have complete control over his mate.   Manufacturers are already selling complex high sensitivity sex dolls.

Artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands recently completed his Ph.D. work on the subject of human-robot relationships, covering many of the privileges and practices that generally come with marriage as well as outside of it.

NEW FOOTAGE: CLICK ANY OF THESE PHOTOS TO SEE THE NEW VIDEOS

CAMPAIGN AGAINST ROBOTS, WOMAN FEARS REAL WOMEN WILL BECOME OBSOLETE!  See the video it’s hilarious!

sex robot sexy robot sexy young robotsexy twin robotssexy robots 2Sex-Robots

Levy predicts first, sex with robots might be considered geeky, “but once you have a story like ‘I had sex with a robot, and it was great!’ appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I’d expect many people to jump on the bandwagon,” Levy said.  There will be people, however, Levy said, people like Anthony maybe, for whom a sexbot holds a strong appeal. “I’m hoping to help people,” he said, then elaborated:

“People ask me the question, ‘Why is a relationship with a robot better than a relationship with a human?’ And I don’t think that’s the point at all. For millions of people in the world, they can’t make a good relationship with other humans. For them the question is not, ‘Why is a relationship with a robot better?’ For them the question is, would it be better to have a relationship with a robot or no relationship at all?”

To me (author of article, Lori Edgar, recovered addict), It’s not that the act of marrying a cyborg is dysfunctional but rather, the person who would need that type of relationship must certainly be dysfunctional to a point.  A relationship with a cyborg lacks the social Love and nurturing which are the human essentials of a healthy romantic relationship.   At the same time many alcoholics, addicts, and some normies are so painfully horrible at relationships perhaps a cyborg marriage would be a step up?   However, many times addicts who do recover from addictions move on to have very healthy Loving relationships.  Truly if an addict works the 12 steps thoroughly the fear of people and allowing fear to dominate his actions should be a thing of the past.  Therefore a recovered addict can then have a real healthy long term love affair.

Certainly not all addicts suck at relationships but clearly my own experience shows the majority do suck at it until they stay sober for a few years.  Please; this doesn’t mean we in recovery are bad people it just means that often we were not shown at a young age by our caregivers what a healthy relationship is.  People whose parents are still married tend to be better at staying in a marriage and not engaging in disrespectful behavior toward their mate.  There is a clear similarity here between the “fear of people” or more precisely put the “fear of what people think of me” addressed in the Big Book chapter “How it Works” and a dysfunctional need to be in a relationship with a non-personality, non-human.

But what about just having sex with a human-like cyborg doll?  Couldn’t that just be considered an exotic form of masturbation.  After all masturbation is a socially accepted act and what’s the difference between having a bottle of lotion or a $4,000 cyborg sex doll?   Couldn’t the doll be just another masturbation tool?  Think about the many advantages, manufacturers are saying it’s an alternative to adultery to put it in an acceptable light.

There are stories at the “videos link” of people who have actually fallen in Love with their “Real Dolls” and the dolls give them a reason to live.  Is it our right to judge them?  Absolutely not.  I believe if no one is getting hurt it’s not my business to judge or deny a man his interactive sex doll.  After watching the “Real Life Stories” below I can’t figure out if I am more creeped out or sympathetic toward the lonely men who need their dolls.  The “creeped out” part of me that screams out “that is so f-ing sick!”  Isn’t the side of me that should win out here.   That attitude is based in a lack of understanding and a bit of fear of the unknown.  “Live and Let Live” is the side that should win out in me regarding this topic.

Roxxxy the US$7,000 companion/sex robot is interactive and even has an orgasm!  Roxxxy has a heartbeat and a circulatory system! The circulatory system helps heat the inside of her body.

Roxxy has different personalities which can be matched as close as possible to your own.  The makers “TrueCompanion” say they have a “Rocky” in the works.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/robot-sex_55f979f2e4b0b48f670164e9

In my opinion the Japanese have taken the cake on best looking sex doll

Pic shows: A Japanese company creates a new realistic looking sex doll. Japan's sex doll industry claims to have reached the next level in creating the perfect artificial partner after developing a special realistic feeling skin and authentic looking eyes for a new range of sex dolls. And as these snaps show of the dolls from the company Oriental Industry, there is little to distinguish them from a real girlfriend at least at first glance. Early sales also indicate that buyers of the sex toys approve with a boom in sales for the so-called "Dutch Wives", that sell for just over 1000 GBP each. The sex toys are part of a high-tech industry in Japan constantly looking at ways to make the sex toys as realistic as possible, and the latest models include movable joints designed to place the sex doll girlfriends in whatever position the buyer prefers. The dolls are sold under the name "Dutch Wives" and adverts in Japanese media boast that anyone who buys one will never want a real girlfriend again. Company spokesman Osami Seto said: "The two areas were identified as really needing improvement were the skin and the eyes, and we feel we have finally got something that is arguably not distinguishable from the real thing." The dolls also come with a selection of clothing to prevent the new owner from having to suffer the embarrassment of visiting the local lingerie department. (ends)
A Japanese company claims to have reached the next level in developing the most genuine looking sex doll which comes complete with realistic feeling skin and authentic looking eyes.

Orient Industry says their new range of dolls, made from high quality silicon, are so realistic there is very little to distinguish them from a real girlfriend at first glance.

The dolls, which are non inflatable, are sold under the name ‘Dutch Wives’, a Japanese term for a sex doll, and adverts in the media boast that anyone who buys one will never want a real girlfriend again. JAPANESE DUTCH WIVES SEE HERE  

Top 42 Robo-sex dolls

Humans will be marrying robots within 50 years, according to David Levy, winner of the 2009 Loebner Prize for artificial intelligence.

“People will have fewer problems with robots,” declares Mr. Levy, who cites advances in intelligence simulation that will enable people to carry on long-term relationships with artificial human companions. “Robots will be programmed to be sensitive sex therapists and help them to get over their sexual problems.”
Although such machines won’t initially be cheap, Mr. Levy says he hopes that, as with other electronic products, demand eventually will drive prices down.

Frederic Kaplan, the robotics researcher who co-programmed the brain of Sony’s robot dog Aibo, is skeptical of claims like Mr. Levy’s. He agrees that highly sophisticated sex robots will be available soon but says he doesn’t think they will ever successfully pass as humans.

To rap it all up see the techno video at pornorags.com, “The Top Ten Amazing and somewhat terrifying facts about Al the robot.

READ SOURCE ARTICLE WashingtonTimes.com

Christmas Light Tribute In Honor of Families of Those Struggling with Addiction

Tribute to Honor  Their Daughter For her struggle with addiction

SKIP TO CHRISTMAS LIGHT VIDEO

Bel Air-area family honors recovery from drug addiction through Christmas lights

This year is the fifth consecutive year the Kurtz family, who live near Bel Air, has put thousands of Christmas lights on their house and synchronized the display to music.

This year, the family has included a tribute in the display to honor their 23-year-old daughter Caroline’s fight to continue her recovery from drug addiction.

“It can happen to anybody, it’s not selective,” Jim Kurtz, 61, said of his daughter’s addiction. “It’s not based on your gender or your social status; it can hit anybody. It’s a disease, plain and simple.”

Jim Kurtz and his wife, Helen, live on Corinthian Court in the Amyclae Estates community east of Bel Air. Their home and three neighboring homes are covered in 16,000 lights for the display.

The display is scheduled to go live at 5 p.m. Sunday, and it will run every night through Dec. 31. The display will be live from 5 to 9 p.m. Sunday through Thursday and from 5 to 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday.

SEE THE VIDEO CHRISTMAS LIGHTS BALTIMORESUN.COM ORIGINAL ARTICLE

patchchristmas

REJECTION-WHY AM I AN ADDICT?

Suffering Rejection As Children & Adults can be devastating and should not be minimized or invalidated.

Before we can truly heal from emotional pain we must have a chance to express the hurt in a way that is acknowledged and validated.  Crying is one healthy emotion.  Letting go of hurt is a process much like the grieving process.  If we have learned to shut down pain we are omitting the first step to healing.  We must feel to heal.  Then and only then can we move on to “our part” in injuries and neglect suffered as children or resentments that have stemmed from abuse and neglect.  Often the only part we had to play in the core reason for our pain and addiction is that we were not taught a healthy emotional process.  We therefore had to resort to unhealthy solutions.

SOLUTIONS

Rejection should be acknowledged and worked through.   There is much more to recovery than just staying sober.  There is much more to working the Twelve Steps than just writing down resentments and finding our part in it.

We all have a life flow, a Spirit if you will that needs both nurturing and Love.  Nurturing includes a validation of who we are and our right to be ourselves.  When rejected at a young age by caregivers we shut down our life force in shame.  And we hide who we really are.

Rejection can take many forms.  It may be direct and obvious or indirect and subtle.  (“Your brother is doing so well.  Don’t you want to do well too?”)  It may be all encompassing (“You can’t do anything right.”  or focused on certain parts of our personality (“Stop being so curious about everything.”).  It may be depriving (neglect) and distinctly lacking in emotional contact and nurturance or it may be dominating and controlling-suppressing our natural desires and over riding fundamental boundaries.  It may be shaming and create within us a feeling of being “bad” or “defective”.  Regardless of the form of rejection, we quickly learn that simply being ourselves will not get us the Love and acceptance that we so desperately need.

REJECTION-WHY AM I AN ADDICT?

Rejection injures our emotional healing process and our ability to express and release our pain.  Without empathy, this impulse is stifled.  In homes of deprivation, we cry out in vain because nobody is there to listen.  This is nothing short of tragic.  Dominating parents might say “I’ll give you something to cry about!”  Maybe we are allowed to cry alone, but not to show our tears, and certainly not to protest against our parent’s wishes.  Usually we don’t even know that we have been emotionally injured.  Into adulthood we may admit we are addicts but never connect the dots to why we ended up so self-repulsed.

Hearing from our teachers that most of our natural impulsed are bad or wrong, we quickly learn to hide away these aspects of ourselves.  We learn to hide away our pleasure as well as our pain; our thoughts as well as our feelings.    All that brings a negative reaction from our caregivers is hidden away in order to try and get their Love.

Now we are susceptible to sexual molestation, drug addiction, or sick relationships we have not been taught what Love really is.

To survive the overwhelming pain of rejection and un-met childhood need, we shut down our life flow and shut off the pain.  We do this through defense mechanisms that block or divert painful feelings and memories away from conscious awareness.

Defense mechanisms may come in the form of extreme behavior patterns, suck as over-eating, compulsive behavior self-sabotage, crisis creating, people pleasing, leaving before being left, rebellion, etc.  Our defense behaviors serve two basic purposes:  We either struggle to meet our unfulfilled needs through someone or something else or we deny our needs and detach from our pain.

The struggle defense is an unconscious attempt to correct the past.  If we had to struggle to get our parent’s love, approval, help or understanding, we may re-create situations that elicit the same struggle and then strive for a different outcome.  In some cases, we may get into abusive relationships similar to our childhood experience.  Often we project our past feelings toward the care giver onto our partners.

Ever wonder why addicts relationship statistics are so sparse and unhealthy?  We are not bad we just were not taught, shown how to love.

We are now in defense mode not just emotionally but also physically.  We repress our breathing.  Maybe our diaphragm expands when we exhale instead of expanding when  we take breath in.  We start by correcting our breathing.  We learn deep breathing and deeply expand our bellies as we take air in.

PLEASE, we are in recovery, we mustn’t allow self or others to tell us to “get over it, it’s in the past.”  It is not in the past emotional trauma is our core reason for using and needs to be processed.

Solutions to resentment.

THE SOLUTIONS FOR DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY

WHY AM I AN ADDICT?

THE SOLUTIONS FOR DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY

Shame the number one offender-http://www.recoveryfarmhouse.net/resentment-number-offender-2/

Entitlement, Expectations, and Gratitude

Gratitude is the opposite of entitlement. I have heard in the rooms that expectations are premeditated resentments.

One thing that can make me dissatisfied often if I allow it to creep into my life is an attitude of entitlement. Entitlement is a feeling of being deserving of certain things. My entitlement issues could spring forth in any area of life really. Maybe I feel I deserve romance, sex, Love, cars, boats, money, decent family, certain behaviors out of others, even good health. But what am I really entitled to? More precisely, upon which areas of my life shall I invest my deep feelings of entitlement? Best answer: None.

Naturally we are completely valid in expecting many things. Things like getting paid for a job we are hired to do. Or, to be treated with respect and with loyal regard by those who are named as loved ones and friends. If we buy an item from the store, we expect it to do what is advertised. These are valid expectations that are natural to have. However, the fewer and more cautious our expectations the happier we will be. Hope is the spiritual replacement for expectations.

Assuming and expecting are pretty much the same thing. When we “assume” we expect without having all the facts we should but when we “expect” it’s supposed to be “based in” fact.  Some situations are highly predictable and others are not.  Some people and situations catch us totally off guard.

Firstly, we should expect human beings to act like humans

that way we won’t put too much stock (trust) where it is unwarranted.  People will mess up repeatedly, intentionally and unintentionally including ourselves.  Keeping an open mind especially were dating and commitments are concerned will save us from emotional crash and burn. If all we see in our potential life partner is the good, then we probably don’t know them well enough to marry them- yet. Granted there are exceptions to every rule but going into a relationship commitment with a well balanced view of who we are committing to is better than going into it with eyes half shut. Sometimes we want something so bad we white-wash it and then when the fairy tale phase is over…it all comes crumbling down. Addicts are famous for marrying prematurely.

Alcoholics and addicts tend to see things in an all or nothing, good or bad light sometimes. But truly good people do bad things and bad people do good things and even more appropriately,

human beings should not be labeled good or bad but rather just human.   And humans have a good side and a bad side.

It’s important to understand and know ourselves in depth so we can know others. Working the 12 steps is one of the best ways to gain wisdom and understanding of ourselves.

As children of God we deserve good things. As recovering addicts, we can’t afford to plant our hearts in entitlement. And so- we cautiously hope for good things and when they don’t happen we keep our eye on the prize which is meeting our maker. And we stay grateful for that which we DO have.

CHARACTER ASSASSINATION ON FACEBOOK

FACEBOOK IS A PRIME PLATFORM FOR CHARACTER ASSASSINATION.

So what is the legal definition of defamation of character and who does it really hurt.
Defamation of character occurs when someone makes a false statement about you that causes you some type of harm. The statement must be published like on a Facebook page(meaning some third party must have  heard or seen it).  It must be false, and it must result in harm, usually to the reputation.
Defamation of Character Lawsuits happen all the time.

In recovery, if we are in a 12 step program that means we are trying to live by spiritual principles.  It means that we have put our life in God’s care and we are making an effort to trust God with our well being.  This spiritual recipe for living takes revenge and doing harm to others off the table.  It means that when we are wronged we pray for our enemies and try to understand that when someone trashes us on Facebook they are a sick person and their actions are rooted in fears of various flavors.

WHERE THERE IS A RESENTMENT THERE IS A “MY PART” GETTING TO THAT CORE FEAR IS WHERE I FIND MY SOLUTION TO HATE

So when I see my picture plastered all over someones FB wall with lies and vicious comments and I want to destroy the person I don’t  Furthermore I may want to call their parole officer and report them for this real crime of defamation of character.  But I don’t.  Also this is a man that I have done many good things for.  I helped him in many ways and with charity.  So, I pic up my prayer tool and pray for him.  I ask for  all the blessings of heaven and earth to cover him.  I never argue and engage in defensive strategies.  I call another person in the program and vent my anger.  I write a Step Four resentment grid that might look something like the following.  And remember just because I know that I am right and good in my intellectual mind my feelings have a mind of their own.  My heart does not have to be either logical or reasonable.  To expel the resentment I examine my own core fears.

“I resent John Doe because he told lies about me on Facebook.  He said I am bad and a liar.  He said that I have stolen from the most innocent and needy of victims.  He said that I am greedy and a pirate thief. ”  I ask myself “what is my core fear behind the resentment?”

FEARS

I am afraid that others will believe the accusations.  This fear is rooted in my own insecurity.  My heart thinks I am not good enough and not as good as other people.  I fear at my core that somehow what this man said about me is true.  (illogical but real and important to recognize).  My carnal reaction is to run to my own defense and argue and send out messages to the people reading the lies.  I fear I am not good enough. I fear that God will not protect me and that certain and sure damage will be done to me by these evil posts.  My society fear kicks in (reputation), my security fear kicks in because he is also crucifying my business websites as being unfair, evil, and dishonest.

Although I have taken no wrong action since I have resentment and want revenge I now have a “my part” that needs addressed before I can let it all go.  So what is my part?  I am not trusting God and I have certain insecurities called “fear of what people think of me”.  This is why the mans sin angers me and I am resentful.  I want this man to be righteous and he isn’t.  So I have some “controlism” in there also.  Please know that at the same time my anger is just and my feelings which want my reputation clear are just as well.  Nevertheless I want the resentment and obsession over it to be gone so I….

KARMA AND POWERFUL LOVE

I ask God to remove my character defects of fear, control and distrust of God. and to replace them with Love and understanding  I DEPLOY LOVE IN DEFENSE OF EVIL AND FEAR.  I ask God to help me trust Him and to give me understanding toward the man.

Jesus said pray for those who despitefully use you.  It is also written In Proverbs that to “return evil for good” is one of the most dangerous sins because of the karmic laws in place.  I helped this man and had good motives and actions toward him.  He took my charity and crushed it under hate and fear.  So me and this man bot have fear it’s the actions which define us, not our fear.  Without fear their is no such thing as courage and overcoming.

Proverbs 17:13

Evil will never leave the house of one who pays back evil for good.

My anger is valid and the proper reaction to being attacked.  But I am responsible for processing my anger.  The man that told the public lies cannot relieve my anger and resentment this I must take action to relieve.    And so I have done the work to fend of bitterness.  I am no longer hurt by the wrong done to me.  However the man that did the deed, unless Grace intervenes to block the karma of “evil will never leave his house” he is majorly squittled.  His hate and wrong actions toward me will never relieve his feelings of fear and wrath.  By his actions he intensifies his short-comings and he works on separating himself from his God.  He is making a spectacle of himself to the people who see through his actions.

NOW THEM BY WHO THEY SHOW YOU THEY ARE, NOT BY WHO THEY TELL YOU THEY ARE

A good and spiritual man will rarely engage in rallying support for the direct punishment of another human being.  Good people know that if we are wronged we pray for that person not trash them on Facebook.  We recognize that if someone is trashing another person on Facebook it is most likely the man doing the trashing who is actually the guilty party.

 

ANGER AND WRATH

https://www.recoveryfarmhouse.com/solutions-depression-anxiety/

WHAT CAN I DO TO OVERCOME DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY?

Click here to read SOLUTIONS

HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE….YES BUT

Hurt people usually hurt themselves first and foremost by their limited ability to accept new people, new places, and new things.

What do we do if we are so hurt from our addict driven past and horrific childhood that we are unable to Love and accept others?  And why is it that a lack of acceptance and the alcoholic go hand in hand?  Our parents didn’t teach us healthy emotional coping skills or we would not reach for such destructive emotional survival skills like the drink and drug.  The thing is as long as our using (drug abuse) and blame-based coping skills worked to keep us reasonably numb & feeling shame-free we had no reason to stop using them….right? 

Why is it that the serenity prayer is an addicts most valuable coping skill known far and wide?  The Big Book reads that a lack of power was our dilemma.  Meaning when we feel we are not in control within and without we buck, we freak.  We lack acceptance when we are sick and suffering on such a grand scale that we block new, different people and ideas out of our lives.  We can’t cope with any kind of change…it’s too scarey.  But again Why? (Oh I’m not supposed to know the answers to any “why’s”? that’s first 90 days sober AA jargon.  If we are going to really be healed of our underlying emotional issues we must allow ourselves to seek & find some knowledge.)

Blame, criticism, and looking for the wrong and the bad in other people and their ideas is the most wide-spread destructive emotional coping skill on the face of the Earth used by addicts and normies alike.  AS LONG AS I CAN PUT A “BAD” LABEL ON SOMEONE TODAY MAYBE I WON’T HAVE TO SEE THE PAIN LIVING INSIDE ME.  IF I CAN JUST BE “RIGHT” AND FEEL THAT I AM “BETTER THAN OTHERS” THEN I WON’T HAVE TO SEE THE SICKNESS THAT LIVES IN MY SOUL.

I need to ask myself some questions and I have …how long have I been sober and why am I still having anxiety attacks and suffering from intense rage and depression?  Why am I having repeated migraines?  Why have I pushed all the people I love out of my life?  Why am I still isolating and beating myself up?  Have I left something out of my program? BETTER YET DID BILL W. AND THE GROUP LEAVE SOMETHING OUT THAT IS VITAL.?  Could my prejudices toward religion and therapy be hindering my healing? What can I do to really overcome depression and anxiety?

The serenity prayer and twelve step work are two grand survival skills for us.  When we share our story of what it was like what happened and what it is like now, if sincere & heart-felt processes out a little bit of our pain and sickness bit by bit.   Telling our story builds self-worth and confidence.  However it also feeds our ego and can be a deflection from our own emotional wounds.  Step 12 and chairing meetings are mere band-aids covering a wound that needs far more healing and medicine.  We need a deep and searching moral inventory we need to address our underlying issues or the infection in our soul will just keep hurting us and those around us.  The symptoms that are screaming at me are depression and anxiety.

SO WHAT THEN?  WHAT ARE THE SOLUTIONS TO DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY AND HOW DO I APPLY THEM IN MY LIFE?  Know this solutions will go against the grain of the disease and make us feel very uncomfortable.  PLEASE KNOW THERE IS NO WRONG FEELING, ONLY WRONG ACTIONS.  EVERY FEELING IS BECAUSE OF A REASON, AN EXPERIENCE, A REACTION TO AN EVENT THEREFORE WE SHOULD NEVER SAY…I SHOULD NOT FEEL THAT WAY.  YOUR HEART IS THE PLACE THAT FEELINGS COME FROM AND YOUR HEART DOES NOT LIE.  WE WILL NO LONGER BE ASHAMED OF WHO AND WHY WE ARE OR HOW WE ARE.  BUT WE CAN LEARN TO OVERCOME AND WORK THROUGH NEGATIVE FEELINGS RATHER THAN ALLOWING OUR FEARS AND FEELINGS TO PARALYZE US.

SOLUTION 1
Well firstly I need to work the steps more thoroughly starting with my spirituality and lack thereof.  I need to seek God with every fiber of my heart and being.  Ask my Higher Power to guide my step-work and my actions.  God answers the heart, every testimony of spiritual experience I have ever heard or had began with an intense seeking of God with one’s heart, mind and very depth of soul.  Please, shallow prayers reap shallow rewards.  Then I keep seeking, I go to churches, tent revivals, Unity God-self type temples,  Mausks, Catholic church.  I recommend Pentecostal church because they praise and more spiritual miracles happen there than other dry churches.  Just don’t let them kidnap your life.  Pentecostals are easily as dysfunctional as alcoholics.  But Jesus came for the sick He said it Himself.     People are not on their knees praying in meetings, people are not crying out at the alter for healing in meetings.  If I am not willing to take this action to seek my Higher Power then I must not be depressed enough or maybe I have just gotten comfortable in my depression.  Depression is anger without enthusiasm to that I can attest.

SOLUTION 2

Therapy, I need to open up my deepest and most vulnerable self to me and a therapist or a friend who won’t shut me down, who will let me show my pain.  I need to share my fears that I am ashamed of, I need to share my feelings that I think are wrong, stupid, weak and I am ashamed of.  I need to share my shame and guilt.  Not just in my journal but also out loud to a human or in group.  I need to let down my emotional protection in a safe place and tell people who I really am.  The child within needs to be heard.  If I was abused I need to talk about it.  If I was neglected and rejected and need to share it.  If I was sexually abused or abused others sexually I need to share it.  First write it down that makes saying it outloud much easier.  My deepest darkest shames need to be exposed to the light.  I need to get real about who I resent.  I need to put myself and God (most likely) on my resentment list.  My fourth step should have “The cause” or what happened to start the resent ment and delve into what my fears are behind the resent me.  Do I think I am unlovable, ugly, stupid, not good enough, that the person who accused me is right?  There is always an insecurity and fear of some sort crouching behind the hate for mankind.  I need to get at my own insecurities and express them on paper and then out-loud.  I need to accept my weaker-self and make myself vulnerable to others.  This isn’t part of the fourth and fifth steps it’s part of a honest and thorough fourth and fifth step.  Notice the “(fear)” and “(self-esteem)” that was written in the fourth step grid in the Big Book?  What I am explaining to you…the shame the feeling of not good enough that is what’s meant by self esteem and fear in  that fourth step grid.  If we can’t address this stuff we most likely will not heal from depression and anxiety.

SOLUTION 3

STEP 12, I need to allow the steps to work in my life.  I need to open up and say what’s really going on with me in meeting.  If I am depressed I need to share it, If I am happy I need to share it, if I am angry I need to share it, I should confess all my resentments not leaving out organizations and groups of people.  People with certain appearances.  And the big one I need to write down and confess anything I am ashamed of and am keeping secret.  I should work these 12 steps in an orderly fashion with a sponsor that will not shut me down.  I should attend step-study-meetings.  I should regularly go to jails or institutions of some type to tell my story of what it was like, what happened and what it is like now.  I should do a very thorough step 6 & 7.  Out of the problem into the solution.  Every day I should shower, put on my shoes and do at least TWO things towards my recovery.  I should clean my house and do my dishes.  I should get sober phone contacts and call people.  If I have an emotional upheaval and think I have been wronged I call someone and talk about it.  And of coarse if I want to drink or drug I confess it in a meeting and or call someone.

SOLUTION 4

I keep doing what works, I don’t stop, I don’t slow down.  I am relentless.  Four meetings a week, Church of some sort (meetings are not church) one day a week.  

SOLUTION 5

I learn and practice real meditation.  I lay down, I get quiet, and I do a mantra by trying repeatedly over and over to concentrate on only one thought.   When my mind drifts I reel it back in and concentrate on only the mantra.  I picture each sentence in my mind.  If my mantra is the Lord’s Prayer I picture each line, I see my father in heaven I think about his/her sacred name.  I picture his kingdom-coming etc. etc.  I practice meditation daily for at least a half hour a day.  I begin my meditation with a prayer.  I can use crystals or props, candles, and incense I make it a ritual.  My mind will wonder but eventually I will train my mind to stay on one thought.   After practicing for quite some time my mind will naturally empty…and I will hear God.  I will be more patient, self-aware, more tolerant, more likely to think things through rather than being sporadic and impatient.  Sometimes in the beginning it’s necessary to just moan during meditation.  When trying to lye till and quiet because of the negative energy living inside it’s hard to be still.  I remember feeling like there was an alien inside of me trying to get out so I moaned like I was taught to do to release that energy.  Then I can better concentrate on the mantra and meditate.

SOLUTION 6

GUTERAL SOUNDS

Release guttural sounds from your body on a regular basis in private in your car, alone at home.  Guttural sounds come straight from core and underlying issues of the emotions and the soul.  Moaning, Screaming, shrieking, and sound that needs to come out.  Try it, it will feel weird and insane but it works to get out the very energy that is causing the depression and anxiety.  Do it for years as long as needed.  It releases the poison from our bowels that we have stored there by pushing down our anger and hurt until it makes us sick.

SOLUTIONS 7

Diet, exercise, and nature.  These are self explanatory stick to natural foods as much as possible and to to the beach or just take walks in the woods but get outside and exercise.  Get fresh air daily, drink lots of water.  Eat lots of fruits and veggies.  Sometings exercise alone relieve a huge part of our anxiety.

 

And remember “OUT OF THE PROBLEM INTO THE SOLUTION”

Don’t stay in the problem spinning around.

REMEMBER NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________The next article works too.

 

Anger & Wrath  “Out of the problem into the solutions.”

“It’s not what goes into the body (food) which pollutes it but rather what comes out (my hurtful words).”

Depression is anger without enthusiasm.  Depression is a final succumbing to the relentless feelings of anger.  When I am angry I still hold some form of control of my situation even if it is an illusion.  When my feelings switch to depression I have emotionally given up.   These additional solutions are a mix of therapy and the 12 steps.  I have added an example form of a mini fourth step.  Well actually now it’s a Fifth step.  “Better to save my ass than save my face.”  I am past shame of who I am and my human condition.

Anger is a feeling which produces a reaction in us emotionally.  Wrath is an action produced by rage that usually hurts people.  One thing sure if I am angry it’s most likely myself and God I am angry with primarily.  People and circumstances are rarely at the core of my anger.  I use people and circumstances as a way to blame and vent.  I usually have a choice who I want to hang around and whether or not I am going to argue, scream, yell, or fight.  Walking away is a great solutions to wrath.

Recovery is the time for me to take responsibility for my own feelings including anger.  Even if I am wronged no one can process my feelings of anger to work through them and get them out except me.   So when I accept that I am responsible for all my feelings I can then take charge and start the endeavor toward the solutions to negative and intense feelings.  As long as I blame people, places, and things for the way I feel and can’t begin to consider the solutions.  Staying in blame is an old survival skill which I know all too well.

Exercise is a great solution but it’s a generic one, meaning it doesn’t address the core.  It’s more of a distraction that does help.  Start out with some journalling and see where it takes us.    I may find that I get the answers to what I am angry at in the words I write.  I am usually surprised at the result.  If I have deep resentments toward myself or others I do a mini fourth step on them.

My Anger/resentment List

I am angry at myself because I have not accomplished the things I know I could if I was focused.  I am angry at me because I don’t get enough exercise, I don’t eat right, I am overweight, etc.  I spend way too much time on the computer and don’t get out enough.  I neglect my spiritual exercises.  I don’t do what I know is good for me.

What is my part in my resentment toward me?

Perfectionism, critical, fear of people(isolating), sloth.

I am angry at God because of the circumstances of the human condition.  God won’t give me what I want.  I want money and I want to be a success in a new career and I have tried so hard and worked to the point of obsession.

Self-pity,playing God, I think I know better than God.

MY FEAR LIST

I am afraid.  I am afraid of getting old.  I am afraid of being homeless.  I am afraid of not getting what I need.  I am afraid my car will break down.  I fear allot.

My part in the fear list

I don’t trust God, I lack sufficient faith, (God will supply my needs He always has.  And even though times are hard sometimes God has given me so much).  I lack gratitude.  I lack Hope.  I lack Love/charity/Faith.

Oh wretched man that I am who shall deliver me from this body of death?  Praise be to my Higher Power Jesus Christ and The Most High God whose name cannot be uttered by man.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

SOLUTIONS

My writing has helped me realize that under my anger was hurt.  It helped me cry.  I honor my feelings by crying which is a healthy emotion.  I ask God to remove the fears and character defects I have listed.  I am separated from God and I do feel that separation.  But there are people out there who are in a much worse place than I.  I believe God has trusted me with His Vineyard it’s my job to be of help to mankind.  I revisit my Step Three and If I have not said the Third Step Prayer I say it now.  I promise you it will help.  The Higher Power hears even our weakest prayer.  And  it doesn’t matter how long or how short your clean time is.  There is always room for emotional and spiritual maintenance.

I remember that beating myself up doesn’t help anything.  Self abasement is not a solution.  I get up I put on my shoes and I go help somebody.  I openly praise my Higher Power aloud.  If I have deep trauma issues from abuse I write a “fuck you ” letter to those who have hurt me. (don’t send)   I write every little thing that I want to say to them.  I do not mail the “fuck-you letter “it’s for me to help heal.  Then I cry, I beat the bed, I beat a tree with a plastic bat or a whip.  This is the best kind of anger processing when I am in touch with the core reason for my anger.  Core anger is usually from a childhood event.

What I am saying is if I have a focus on the core issue instead of “my husband called me a bitch” or “I got cut off at the green light” when I do my anger exercise I will get the core issue attended to and begin healing.  If it’s just a blame type distraction from the present I am not processing the core trauma.  That’s why writing works so well, the pen tends to carry us to the root of our pain.

If you were abused, put the bastard in the empty chair (literally an empty chair pretend your abuser is in it)  and scream out everything you were too afraid to say to them when the abuse occurred.    There are some seriously wicked people .  Or maybe you were neglected and deprived of emotional nurturing.  Being ignored as a child is trauma as well.  We are raised often by people who have no idea what it is to nurture a child’s soul and spirit.  But you have walked into the sunlight of sobriety.  God has It’s hand on you and will not let you go.  God, I promise will protect you even from yourself.  You are a beautiful child of God.  You have suffered a lifetime and now is your time of peace.  The peace which surpasses all earthly understanding is at your doorstep.  All you need do is pick it up.

 

 

 

 

WHY IS EVERYBODY’S PROFILE PIC RED AND BLUE?

The Paris National AA Convention just took place not  one week prior to the terrorist attack on Paris.

I don’t usually post non-recovery articles but this ISIS thing is completely out of hand and our brothers and sisters who stayed over from the recent convention could have been injured or killed.   The NATIONAL CONGRESS 55th anniversary AA France Paris 2015
SATURDAY 7 AND SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2015 Just happnened.  I hope you join me in prayer for them and all those suffering from this terrorist attack.

Info on the Paris convention

Why is everybody’s profile pic red and blue is a very good question.

France came under attack late Friday Night and we by changing our pro-pic are supporting the French against the machine gun and bombing attacks.  Isis has claimed responsibility for the attack.

Three teams carried out the attacks in the French capital which killed 129 people and left more than 352 wounded, the Paris chief prosecutor says.  Ninety-nine of the wounded are reported in very serious condition, he said.

“We have to find out where they came from… and how they were financed,” Francois Molins, Prosecutor told reporters.

He said seven attackers had been killed, and that all had been heavily armed and wearing explosive belts

ISIS claimed responsibility in an online statement. The statement said eight ISIS militants wearing explosive belts and armed with machine guns attacked precisely selected targets in the French capital.

It was the deadliest terrorist attack in Europe since the Madrid train bombings of 2004, in which 191 people died. And it came less than two weeks after after a Russian plane crashed in Sinai — downed, intelligence officials believe, by a terrorist bomb — killing all 224 people aboard.
CNN-Find out more about the attacks
Mark Zuckerberg turns his profile pic blue and red in support of France, Paris which has come under attack recently
Facebook Safety Check Helps Parisians, Company Responds To Those In Beirut Asking, ‘Why Not Us’
Facebook deployed its Safety Check feature for Paris Saturday morning, making it the first time it was ever used in connection with terrorist attacks.

Zuckerberg’s Support for Paris

Company CEO Mark Zuckerberg shows his support for France by changing his profile photograph.
Paris was the first test of Facebook Inc.’s Safety Check role in helping improve quick communication during acts of terrorism. The company said in a statement Saturday afternoon: “Safety Check is a relatively new feature and until yesterday we had only activated it in the wake of natural disasters. The product will continue to evolve as we learn more about how it’s used during different crises. We hope to never be confronted with a situation like this again, but if we are, we are of course open to activating the tool given how reassuring it has been for people in Paris.”

CLICK HERE TO SEE I.B.T FACEBOOK PROFILE PIC SUPPORT ARTICLE
Story by Laura Edgar
Sources CNN News Online
International Business Times
BBC Interview with Molins procecuter.

Is Alcoholics Anonymous a Cult?

AA

BLAME

CULTS

Is AA a cult?

Well that depends on who you ask the question.  One thing for certain about the human race…we get some kind of fulfillment out of stamping a “BAD” label on groups of people, organizations, types of people etc.   We don’t want the karma or negative consequences that harsh judgement could bestow on us so we should definitely be careful about using the word “cult”.    There are lots of articles labeling AA a cult.  But really what are the characteristics of a true cult?

  • An organization that insists on separating you from your friends and family.
  • A group of people that want to control your behavior, the way you look, act by lots of rules and regulations that are invasive and contrary to freedom.
  • A religious group that insists they are the only one’s who know God.   They drill into you that all other spiritual and religious groups are bad, wrong and evil.   And they  insist that they are the “way” to God.  Without them you will be lost and doomed to a fate worse than death.
  • They often claim to be the only prophets on the face of the Earth.
  • They make themselves as God by requiring that you worship them, him.  They require that you give you self wholly to them.  All of you your mind, body, time, and work.  They require that you give all your worldly possessions to them.
  • They ultimately require that you cross your own moral boundaries and good conscience to obey them even unto death or group suicide.  The ultimate sacrifice.
  • A cult usually condemns everyone else they claim to be all-knowing when it comes to who and what is evil.  Their primary purpose is to manipulate you into handing over all your power and choices.

Pretty vicious!  These are evil characteristics at best and clearly just another form of blame by a cults condemnation of all other things religious/spiritual .

Is AA a cult?  No, not by it’s doctrines, which are the 12 steps and 12 traditions absolutely not.   Granted that does not mean that there could never be cultist sects working within AA.  Made up of people that practice AA completely contrary to the 12 steps and traditions, but that goes for any large group within organizations.  Any group of people can go awry.

However, few if any religious organizations have the liberating and non-controlling foundation that AA has by its 12 Tradition.  Nor does any other religion suggest that you seek God and put your own vision and label on God.    AA does not hand us God on a platter served up with a cocktail of legalistic regulations of what HE looks like acts like dresses like, wants us to dress like Nor do they serve a desert of descriptive visuals of the punishment and torture God will smite us with  if we don’t obey all the rules.

Spirituality does not come in a box.  We do not come to know God by other people’s seeking God for us.  We must seek out our Higher Power on our own.  That way when we reach that pie in the sky the great creator of human life will recognize us and know exactly who we are because we prayed, meditated, sought God with our might and even helped a few addicts along the way.

Out of a desperation that only the fear of utter emotional pain, death, suffering and worse can induce.   Yes by this woe we found God and by this woe we learned that Love is an action that we take to receive back that same Love.

(thanks to Erwin Guillem for the gorgeous photograph that can be found on “your shot” National Georgraphic.)

They Say…”Addicts Stop Maturing Emotionally When They Start Using”…

I was not able to find any scientific evidence stating addicts stunt their emotional growth the minute they start drinking and drugging to cope with their feelings.

What is emotional maturity?  A mature person takes responsibility for their own feelings and actions and learns what to do with their emotions  (contrary to repression or blame).  Coupled with the acceptance of others and the ability to NOT PLAY GOD.  They show respect toward their fellow man and do no harm to themselves or others of any form.

ANGER THE ACCEPTED EMOTION

But it’s obvious and common-sense that when we no longer use healthy emotional coping skills we resort to unhealthy ones.   Drinking and drugging to mask intense fear and inferiority issues causes emotional stagnation.  This emotional numbing process goes hand in hand with suppressing feelings.  For instance instead of crying when we are hurt we pound down a twelve pack and become an angry drunk because we think to be hurt shows weakness so we never address the core “emotional hurts” behind our anger.  The supposedly “recovering” addict can engage in a similar sick emotional process while sober.  Just substitute blame or any character defect in place of the twelve pack and we can still repress our emotions and stay in denial of fear and pain.

My own inadequacies are haunting me even after years of twelve step work, therapy, and spiritual experiences.

There seems to be no permanent remedy to character defects and perfectionism.  But rather it takes spiritual maintenance (steps 10-12) to stay positive and emotionally healthy once sick emotional processes have been introduced to the brain (especially in the formative years).

I really do dislike the fact that I can’t be fixed once and for all and that I will always need spiritual solutions BUT there are worse things.

“FEAR” THE UNACCEPTABLE FEELING

Here is what Bill W. said about “fear”;

“this short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives.  It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it.  It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve. But did not we ourselves set the ball rolling?”

Before we can mature emotionally in sobriety we need to learn how to process our feelings.  Sounds like psycho-babble right?  Emotionally healthy people use processes like this for instance.

“HURT FEELINGS” THE UNACCEPTABLE  EMOTION & SOLUTIONS

First we admit our emotional pains, insecurities and fears.  We moan, scream (not at anybody)  or cry them out, that’s why God made tear ducts.  And we write them down.  We share them with someone and then we give them to God.  Fear itself is not the character defect because it’s a feeling and feelings are part of us.  Actions however, can be defective.  We are clearly not trusting our Higher Power if we are paralyzed by fear.  We ask for God’s help with our lack of faith and trust. We can use a God box to help us let go of the things that we are putting in God’s care.

Now if you or your sponsor have labelled any part of natures healthy emotional processing techniques as “character flaws” and have deemed crying as “self-pity” and labelled sharing and writing our fear list as “self-centered & self indulgent” then it’s time to fire our sponsor and find one that is compassionate and understanding even empathetic.

Steps Ten through Twelve do work just as step four and five works to clear the wreckage of the past.  But when it comes to fear addicts and alcoholics seem to be loaded down with more fear than the average person.   I believe this is because we were introduced to fear as a result of some childhood emotional trauma and it set the ball rolling in our brains.  And so we set out for a solution to our fear based feelings and double helping of shame that came with it.

It’s imperative that in recovery we learn to open up about who we are and how we feel.  The tough girl, tough boy facade must be left behind.

We will mature emotionally if we allow natures process to flow through us rather than getting stuck.

Paul Williams Tells his story of Hitting Rock Bottom

Paul Williams: Coming Back from Rock Bottom | Super Soul Sunday | Oprah Winfrey Network

Watch both video’s.  They are very short at these links.

http://realestate.aol.com/blog/videos/real-estate/518511534/
Songwriting legend Paul Williams says that, at the height of his fame, an addiction to alcohol and drugs nearly destroyed him. After hitting bottom
a bunch of alcoholics in Oklahoma City prayed in a prayer circle for him and that night in a black out Paul Williams finally called a doctor and went to rehab.  Above is the link to the video and also after the P. Williams video is the Oprah show that talks about Normies needing recovery too.

See him tell the story of what saved him at this link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROgkQnrGUic

OMG He wrote “Just an old fashion love song” that Three Dog Night made famous but here’s his version with the mupputs. Too funny.
PAUL WILLIAMS AND MUPPETS. Also wrote “Rainy Days and Mondays” that the carpenters made famous. And

I WON’T CO-SIGN YOUR BULLSHIT!

“I WON’T CO-SIGN YOUR BULLSHIT!”

Scream the 12 step sponsors to the detriment of their heartsick fellows! There is a great need in AA to understand the difference between co-signing bull shit and showing Love by exerting understanding, compassion, and care.

There is a great need to understand the difference between self-pity and the expression of valid feelings such as anger, and hurt.

Human feelings that result from an abusive past need expressed for us to stay or get sane.

The words, “I know how you feel, you have a right to feel your pain, grieve and to process your hurt…even if, the feelings derive from years prior” are words that can heal a heart. Most addicts have stuffed down tears for years that desperately needed to be cried for us to attain emotional balance and healing. Usually when we get clean & sober all our un-cried tears come to the surface and scream to get out. We then ask ourselves: “What’s wrong with me, why am I so depressed, nothing bad is going on right now? Next our sponsors quickly tell us to “get over it and write a gratitude list” as they watch us slam the door in the face of AA.

Gratitude lists work great for those stomping their feet because things are not going their way (self-pity). However when it comes to the horrible feelings of grief that result from abuse, abandonment, neglect and other childhood trauma all our sponsors suggestion does is add to our low self-image and push us out the doors.

The most common “grave emotional disorder” that addicts in the rooms suffer from is the inability to process deep hurts and trauma inflicted as children & sometimes through adulthood. We have turned our hurt to anger and continually search for a scape-goat to blame for our intolerable feelings. Our hurts have morphed into anger because “grief”, unless short lived and a result of the death of a loved one is unacceptable in our society. When we experience any other cause of emotional pain except what’s socially acceptable we are often told to just “GET OVER IT!” So driven by shame we bone-up, pretend we are tuff-girls and boys, file our feelings under the “wrong and weak” category in our hearts and make ourselves sick till we have no other solution except to numb that which we have labeled “Invalid feelings”.

Is it no wonder that when one of us relapses so many seem to be so devastated by it…

even when we scarcely know the person who went back out? We are desperate to let out some of our grief in a way that is acceptable to our fellows. We all step up our meetings and talk about our pain and loss when it usually has nothing to do with the guy who just relapsed who we have never invited to our home by the way.

The need for validation of our deep hurt is huge and necessary for healing. It’s hard for us in recovery to see when we are stuffing down a pain that really needs to be expressed. Few of us were taught by example or in school that it’s ok to scream and cry feelings out, or that crying is a part of emotional health.

Grave emotional disorders

are not healed by just writing down [our part] and transferring all the blame from one scape goat to the next; [ourselves]. Please don’t hear what I am not saying…we addicts have boatloads of character defects that we need to work on however, not all grave emotional disorder is solved by doing a guilt based fourth step. Furthermore, if Bill W. would have had a course in empathic healing and were taught that his feelings are valid and how to emotionally process them he may not have spent at least 12 years sober and depressed trying so many therapies and pharmaceutical remedies.

Typically Bill was too hard on himself. There comes a time when we must pause from blaming ourselves for where we are at emotionally if we are to find answers and heal. There comes a time when we should realize that we were dealt a mistaken hand where our understanding of emotions is concerned and the steps don’t fix everything.

THERE IS NO WRONG FEELING

Suicide and Addiction The Hemingway Curse and Emotional Battle

MENTAL ILLNESS, ADDICTION AND SUICIDE ALL ROLLED INTO ONE COURAGEOUS AND CANDID DOCUMENTARY OF THE LIVES OF THE FAMOUS HEMINGWAY’S  Originally aired on April 23, 2013

Mariel Hemingway

Get the instant video or DVD of this compelling documentary only on Amazon

GET THE INSTANT VIDEO OR DVD ONLY ON AMAZON HERE

 

Mariel Hemingway opens up about suicide, molestation and her family’s curse in ‘Running from Crazy’

(More about sexual abuse and addiction at RFH )

National Suicide Prevention Hot Line

 Mariel admits she saw her father sometimes enter the girls’ bedroom when they were young and sexually abuse Muffet and Margaux. “I didn’t know what he was doing, but I knew it wasn’t right,” she says on camera, adding that she was never herself abused — though one is nevertheless left wondering if that is actually true. Further, she hypothesizes that unfortunate past as something relating to how extremely close to their father Muffet and Margaux were, while, again, Mariel seemed to be on the outside of the unit, closer to her mother than anyone else.

Amid all of this, Mariel struggles with the “Hemingway curse.” Ernest’s 1961 suicide is legendary but two of his siblings also killed themselves, as did his father. This in addition to Margaux. That curse is theorized as a suicide gene and the very potential of such a thing leaves Mariel racked with fear for her own daughters as she participates in charity work and suicide prevention initiatives.

READ MORE at Huffpost Live

SEE VIDEO CLIP OF MARIEL

Bling Bling Necklace


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Step One of A.A.

Step One

A sponsor is a person who has completed working the 12 steps and now teaches others to work them. One common first step assignment is to read “How it Works” and “The Doctors Opinion” in the Big Book of AA. Another assignment is to write five examples of powerlessness over alcohol or drugs in our own lives. And so we have begun the journey of recovery with a sponsor who has managed to stay sober themselves. What this first assignment does is brings our addiction into the light by listing our powerlessness it keeps us from forgetting we are addicts and prevents us from lying to ourselves by saying…”Yes I can drink responsibly…this time.”

The Doctors opinion shows us that we are definitely not alone and we are not the only ones who have experience the powerlessness of addiction. Powerlessness and the “insanity” of addiction are hard to differentiate between. All powerlessness associated with addiction is insanity but not all inanity exhibits powerlessness.I promised myself I would only have one drink however I woke up after a three day bender asking myself “What in the hell happened?” I promised myself I would never drink or drug again but I did it anyway. I promised myself I would never hurt my loved ones by my addiction yet, again I stole money from my daughter’s piggy bank to buy crack. Ouch! That is serious powerlessness.

Premeditated and guiltless thievery to support my addiction is insane but it is not a show of powerlessness. Accusing my ex-husband of being the reason that I drink and drug because of the way he treats me is insanity but it is not powerlessness. Good luck with your step work!

When we write our examples of powerlessness we should write also how it made us feel. The thing is we addicts usually want to be in complete control. Most of us have intense control issues even. And so we internally beat ourselves to a pulp when we cannot stick to our own using guidelines. Simply put we are expecting ourselves to control something that we are completely incapable of controlling.

We find ourselves in a subconscious state of self-loathing by which we hate us and the world. We did not create our powerlessness nor did we sign up to become addicts. We have no right to condemn ourselves for our powerlessness. We merely accept it and move on to step two.

OUT OF THE PROBLEM INTO THE SOLUTION!

What is Sin?

What sin is depends on the person who is defining it for themselves. What is sin to one person may not be sin to another. My own conscience is what guides me as to whether I am committing a sin or not. If I feel guilty, truly guilty about an action then it is sin to me.

Many people suffer from false guilt at times by feeling responsible for other people’s condition. However that happens to people who feel they have way more power than they actually do. Unless I have wronged a person by literally physically or verbally disrespecting them I am not responsible for their condition. Furthermore even if I do hurt someone emotionally by my words, it is ultimately up to that person to work through their own emotions. I can’t process anyone’s emotions for them. I can’t work through your hurt for you. I can’t cry for you to get it out and I can’t let it go for you by praying to God the Serenity Prayer.

We are all responsible to process our own emotions. I can no more cry for you than I can tell you what is sin for you. Granted there are the clear cut cases of people who have no conscience and therefore have nothing to label as sin. And there are the clear cut cases of violent crimes against others that on a universal standard are easily defined as wrong. But if I am a person who can go out and kill with no guilt feelings what so ever even if I am killing the innocent, then there is no such thing as sin to me only right and wrong as defined by other people. My own conscience is what defines my sin.

“Sin” is a religious and moral term, some people have no morals in their heart, these people should abide by the law. Then there are those who feel even a cuss word is sin or masturbation or sex is sin I have one word for these people. KEEP YOUR SINS TO YOURSELF, no adult has the right to tell other respectful law abiding adults what to do. So I say bugger-off sinner.