I was a stripper in Texas and in Florida. What a life. First club I worked at was a place called “Baby Dolls”. I started as a coctail waitress. Little did I know I was being primed for dancing. Oh, it was all my choice. But when a waitress sees the glory and attention that dancers receive with the money…well…that’s all it took for me to decide.
It’s easy to explain why some people immediately get dependent upon opiates or opioids when trying them. Yes, it’s easy for me to finally realize that the normies have something I never did. At least they have something naturally that I had to work for and plead with God to have. A fearless feeling of well being.
The normies apparently have an indwelt sense of well being. They do not suffer from nagging incessant fear. Therefore when a normie does his first drug he gets high alright but he doesn’t get what we addicts get. RELIEF.
If you are an addict who has felt the obsession compulsion and what it feels like to do what you do not want to do then you know the spiritual aspect of addiction. That my friend is the part that is cunning and baffling to most.
Why is it some people get paranoid on really good weed and other’s do not? There is likely more than one reason but I have some spiritual answers to the question.
No one can find the rewind button. Most addicts were emotionally abused as children YET they have no idea what emotional abuse even looks like. Therapy works and so do the 12 steps if done deep, deep. Breath friends, just breath. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
The Mighty name of Jesus is The Way to receive The Holy Spirit. Receiving The Holy Spirit Baptism is no small thing that goes unnoticed. With it comes all kinds of gifts, revelations, Love, Truth, epiphanies, and total life changes.
If you Can’t See that you Have Guilt & Shame…then you will not overcome Guilt & Shame.
The hardest part about being a believer in Jesus with all the guilt trips religion passes on to the people is to accept myself just as God made me. Imperfect. If my life is manageable then I am at peace. But I will not be perfect as long as I am in the flesh. The closer I get to perfection the more false pride and judgement rear their ugly heads. The further I get from perfect the more self destruction tries to enter then there’s the self condemnation. The solutions, believe it or not are in the 12 Steps when I include God The Father/Jesus my Higher Power in my step-work.
A life of the beat down of self requires reprogramming. Step Eleven serves well to reprogram the mind if we include positive affirmation of truth repeatedly, over and over. We must reprogram the “I am bad & wrong” into “I am a blessed and worthy child of God”.
I have often wondered how I survived my 20’s through 30s. Surely I kept my protecting angel very busy with so many dangerous near death mishaps.
I was a Heroin addict with a dangerous job. I was a prostitute who worked for herself. I ran the gamut of prostitution all the way from street level hitchhiking to the best of the best high class exquisite hotels and appointment with the rich and wealthy.
False Pride is One of my Dominate Temptations of that I confess.
If Staying Sober is what you need to learn today…do not read this article. I have many many other articles on how to stay sober. I have been sober since 2006. That’s 14 years or so. Ten of which I have taken some kind of doctor prescribed non narcotic drug. Be clear I don’t take opiates, that would cause me dysfunctional addiction and horrible consequences.
The program works. Are people going to AA meeting amist the CV? I wouldn’t know as I have not been in a few months. I do live the steps 12 in my emotional life. Now that I have become who I really am less the shame and the “I am bad and wrong” program the beast downloaded to my heart I find little need for meetings these days. Please comment answers below.
I want to let you all know why I have not been writing articles about recovery. I have purchases several new domain names and have shifted my focus onto end times articles about the great tribulation, prophecy, end times topics, and spiritual matters. Jesus is my Higher Power…..by the way the word “Higher Powers” has made an appearance in the KJVB. The book is changing supernaturally on the shelves. That’s right! This is one of the great signs and wonders that has shifted my focus onto end times prophecy.
I have found one of the best ways to get rid of a resentment is to pray daily for that person who has wronged me.
https://danaashlie.com (a site I picked up and made as a gift to Dana Ashlie but she was not gracious or grateful and attacked me trying to get it taken down instead of utilizing it. I gave her full access to use the site.
I even though I supplied it to her (keep in mind websites and domain names are two different entities I made the website myself and attached the domain name I own to it). I offered it to the woman to use any way she wished and I offered to train her in web design or to buy the whole sha-bang site and name. Instead what I got (do not return evil for good) from the real Dana Ashlie was an attack. She apparently tried to get my domain name from me using my hosting account. She got the site crashed for a good week by her false accusations. Even though I own the site and the name she tried to take it away from me on the grounds that “that’s my name” she screamed! WELL when it comes to domain names any name goes. There are MANY “Dana Ashlie’s” on the earth and domain names are not and have never been limited to matching legal sir names to the website name and the like. If the domain is available you can buy it…thats how it works. Make up a name and go for it! Buy as many domain names of other people that you wish….As long as you do not impersonate that person. Furthermore yes my feelings were hurt that all she had to do is log in and begin using the website as she pleased but that wasn’t good enough apparently, she wanted to own my work. I made a list of helps for her, she used the list to her own advantage making an email sign up page for her site “missdanaashlie.com”. It hurt my feelings that she was so greedy as she portrays to be a Christian woman.
Next she sent a fake letter from a lawyer as if I didn’t know her username is NOT her legal name and the Youtube channel is owned by foreign nationals who hire the AKA “Dana Ashlie” and give her a script telling her what to do and say. Then they edit the video adding nice A frame backgrounds and ….the actress is very likable but clearly they do not own the legal name or it would be trademarked.
Since impersonating a law firms is a serious crime they had better hope I am not as vindictive as they. IP addresses are easily obtained for email addresses. Not to mention most website log IP’s.
Thank you for letting me share my resentment. Now I forgive them for their attacks and illegal acts against me. I pray for the actress with red hair and I pray for them to have all the blessings of heaven and earth because the time is short. Amen.