WARNING! THIS ARTICLE IS A PARADIGM BUSTER. I PRESENT HERE THE CONCEPTS by which recovery & addiction meet full blown truth.
There are Two types of recovery, “Recovery in Truth” or Recovery in partial to full blindness and deception via the “Beast system brand recovery” and its status quos.
Beast system recovery requires ongoing meetings for ever…always an arms length from a drink, never recovered.
Healing recovery requires you become who you really are, no holds barred. How long does this complete healing take? Seven years of reprogramming and virus expulsion by expression of your true inner child. It takes seven years to become who you really are it doesn’t happen overnight.
Don’t have time for long articles? SCROLL TO BOTTOM FOR SHORT VERSION SYNOPSIS.
I went to an AA meeting yesterday and clearly see that even though the people there are my brothers and sisters there are many parts of me that are very different than they. I am sober 14 years this month and do not need meetings to stay sober. In spite of popular belief even the Big Book did not say we are dependant on meetings the rest of our lives lest we fall back into addiction. YET most will say if they don’t always continue in meetings they will relapse forthwith.
The 12 steps are one of the keys to sobriety but there is another key to healing that isn’t written in The Big Book or heard in the rooms. Recovery, true recovery is healing and becoming who we really are. Our mask or “addict” self should integrate with our true heart as we become and grow into who we were separaed from years ago. We must accept that “the addict” me is also the wounded me. I must become aware of why, when, and how, I invented the mask/addict me and nurse that part of me back to health. A re-unification of self.
And then there are the character flaws which are “defense mode” patterns which I must also learn to recognize and change. Defense mode is fear, based in the “I am bad and wrong” programming that we have been downloaded with initially.
As long as I am calling addiction an obscure “disease” then my addict, a part of me is a stranger to me and by that is made an enemy whom I will never face much less integrate with. I must see those addict personalities as part of me and explore them, comfort them, and incorporate them back into my oneness of heart and being.
Most people in AA do not become who they really are. They do not integrate with their true selves by painstakingly becoming aware of why, when, and how, they invented the mask identity along with the addict and buried their true self. So they do not nurse that inner child and angry addict part of them back to health. . They do not truly recover they just run a new program on the same of sick operating system. They become the “AA Status Quo” program instead of becoming who they really are. Big difference. They never really heal in their heart and they never really become who they really are inside their heart of hearts. They never embrace the truth of why they became an addict.
If I am still relying on parroting others in my speech and parroting books instead of speaking in my own words it’s one red flag that I may need healing to fully recover.
To these who have beast system recovery, addiction will always be “cunning and baffling”. It’s too hard, to much work, too scary, and it takes a true relationship with God to follow the steps to get self truth. Some get very close….very close indeed to freedom. And then they stumble only to get lost in yet another mind based status quo “program” of the brain.
What is the difference between Beast system recovery and Truth recovery? Beast recovery does require meetings to stay sober truth recovery does not once you have healed, know how to live your new program and know and live the authenticity it takes to keep your heart from getting sick again. True recovery does require certain good habits to maintain it. A good program to guide us, the 12 steps.
And make no mistake, the beast system 12 step recovery which excludes heart healing and reunification of self IS by design. Who designed our programs from the get go that made us into an addict? The Beast System of course. The enemy wants your soul. The enemy wants you dead. The enemy does not want you to know HOW you got sick.
One dangerous AA status quo: “terminally different” Just one of the coined phrases that induces a follow the leader mentality in the beast system form of recovery.
I feel sad in a way, alone in another way, blessed, and invalidated. Tragically at least those in AA have half of what it takes to recover emotionally by the 12 steps. They have a “sobriety program” that will never reach their heart EXCEPT by seeking God diligently.
And many of them do get the other half of the key to true healing from outside sources IF they are guided by God and find someone or direction to help them go back through their first emotional traumas.
What is it that we are really healing from? What is addiction? Addiction is a relied upon habit started by searching for relief from pain/shame/hurt, and drug use is a solution to emotional and psychological strife with one’s self. It medicates us to further accept the mask programming and bury our broken heart. What is the problem that drugs are a solution to before they stop working? The list below are both problem and dysfunctional solution:
- A broken heart/feeling bad and wrong.
- The “I am bad and wrong” program pre-seeds (as a planted seed program that grows into an entire false identity) the many “mask” programs available to us that we pile onto our buried true identity.
- The Mask copycat, parrotting Programming is lethal with its status quos and must come off
- AA re-programming becomes another “mask” program that is less destructive yet lacks heart connection in most cases.
- Blindness caused by fear
- Denial caused by blindness
- Shutting down of the heart and putting it in a box with a label.
So what? Hopefully we can see by #4 that we can have partial recovery, and appear “recovered”, and still be running on a broken heart level operating system and several deceptive beast system programs mentally.
What are the signs of a shallow re-programming? The dry drunk, sick relationships, cigarettes, sex addiction, porn addiction, secondary addictions, violent relationships, self conflict, lack of peace of mind, worship of idols, etc. anything dysfunctional.
If we do not get to our core truths and heal then our recovery is just another lie that is outwardly clean and shaved with dead men’s bones lying sickly on the inside.
One of the Beast System Maintenance Programs=”NEVER BE THE VICTIM!” even when you have been horribly wronged, this concept keeps us sick.
Victims are clearly shamed in our society. Why? Because “victim” leads us to “villain” and the Beast is hiding in plain site and does not by any means want to be seen. The Beast is in all media. He is the God of this world that we have grown up with.
AA addresses wrongs commited but never allows for the processing of “wrongs suffered” and what those did to us emotionally. It took me seven years sober to see what my father did to me. Why? I protected his memory and did not want to put him in a light of “wrong or monster”. I carved out what he was to me with a cookie cutter of dependency and unconditional Love covered in an icing of blindness that promised I would never ever see wrong in him because I relied far too much on the ideal of him to ever change his label.
I engraved his position and label onto my brain, and refused to look at the relationship with an open mind and a magnifying glass of the heart. What stopped me from looking? My character defects of “once bad always bad”. See, if I looked at him in a true heart-light I knew I may not like what I saw. I relied on my labels of “good” and “bad” as if my life depended on it. Never considering good men do bad things and bad men do good things and that there is another box labelled “human condition” which I hadn’t made.
Little had I known for some time in recovery what my own “label” had been for so long. “bad & wrong” at heart level.
AA Beast System Rules: A. Grieving and pain are always self pity except when someone dies. B. Being harmed is always playing the victim therefore we must never look at wrongs suffered. C. There is never a villain or cause for our addiction. All villains are "blame" and not taking responsibility for our actions, even when wronged horribly and abused. Why? If we see how we were wronged we can process it properly and heal by our expression of pain. D. Alcoholism is "a disease cunning and baffling" Why? We must never see why we were in so much pain. If we see the reasons for our pain and shame we may recognize that we have a spiritual enemy and then raise the double edged sword against the beast who sifted us like wheat. God will teach you to wear armor and wield the double edged sword if you are teachable. E. We must become weak to be strong however AA as the 12 steps dictate want us to always remain "powerless" over people, places, and things. Is this not a lie? I can destroy a bottle of liquor and am not powerless unless I take of its poison. Also I have power OVER the beast and its system, in Christ I can and will do what Jesus did and more than what He did, will I do... His words not mine. F. We admit the "exact nature of our wrongs" but without positive affirmations we will always see ourselves as "wrong" Step 12 service requires we walk through the fear and shame that encompassed us. We will not build confidence and become who we are without taking courageous service work type actions. We MUST tell our story with truth and bravery over and over to stand up tall in who we are and who we have become. Public speaking must be done with heartfelt truth. Without encouragement, validation, and reliance on God we will not grow into the warriors for Christ that we are meant to be. G. False humility is rampant in AA as people publicly and openly abade themselves & put themselves down in hopes they will appear "recovered" by the show of humility. But in all truth there is more false humility in the rooms of this sort than true humility shown. Few people know the difference. H. I need a "kick my ass sponsor" to spank me and degrade me, to beat me down so they can build me back up. TOTAL BULLSHIT this kind of AA sponsorship is disrespectful, run on inferiority/superiority principles and those who practice demeaning their sponcees are running on a broken operating system. I. Never ask "why". Please, this subservient concept is a beast system's wet dream and keeps all knowledge locked out of sight. Need I say more? J. (I don't care about what anyone thinks of me) see "I". Care is good, fear is part of the human condition and must be owned as such. K. AA status quo says "It's none of my business what anybody thinks of me." This parallels "I don't care what anybody thinks of me". I CALL BULLSHIT AND EXPOSE BEAST PROGRAMMING. Abandoning the social need for a good reputation and the truth that we DO CARE and moreover SHOULD CARE (NOT FEAR, CARE) what others think of us makes it shameful to ADMIT IN TRUTH OUR natural human instinct to want our fellows to like us. This program makes it a shame to hope people like us and to treat others the way we want to be treated by the motive of hopeful unity, friendship, and fellowship. "Not caring" what people think of us is a contradiction to the principles of fellowship and friendship. "Fear of people" is another thing entirely. To not care about our relationships plays into sick relationships. How does it make you feel if someone says "I don't give a damn what you think of me?" What does that imply? To not care is a lie perpetuated by the ' shame program' that states "anybody who cares about what people think of them is weak, fearful, inferior, and wrong." How could such a contradiction to friendship 101 that turns us against each other by rejection and hurt be perpetuated in us so thoroughly? Why oh WHY would we ever believe such a bond breaking friendship stabbing lie? J. You owe AA. contradicted by: "AA is a free Program". Which is it?
The Chalk Board MUST be Erased
So what do we have here? We have a set of labels that MUST BE ABOLISHED IN OUR PSYCHE AS BEING A GUIDE TO OUR REALITY. Our box of labels stifle our personal growth and blind us.
Thrown into defense mode at an early age we had to re-label the world and ourselves! We had to have some kind of CONTROL over it! By God! We had to find a way to make things better, see us in a better light. So we deceived ourselves at the deepest level. We piled deception upon deception like no outside source ever could. We induced our own GREAT DECEPTION. And by god no 12 step recovery program was ever going to interfere with a program written at heart level. The beast systems mental programs had nothing on our heart level deception of self. If was written on our heart and etched in our brain both. So they allowed the new beast 12 step program of recovery while protecting even unto the loss of a soul the lies we ourselves wrote on our heart to cover our broken heart. And again I reiterate, what broke our heart? The “I am bad and wrong” program of the formative years which got the ball rolling.
Despite my box of labels which I had relied on so supplicantly for so long I took out the magnifying glass and looked at those I loved most through my life.
Long short of it, it took me a year to work through the most horrendous trauma of all, that my father had inflicted on me with violence, invalidation, and rejection. Prior to my courageous focus I would have implicitly and emphatically insisted to all “I had a wonderful childhood!”.
What is “defense mode” except the beast program called “DEMORALIZE ONE ANOTHER”.
Programmed against ever seeing ourselves as a “victim”.
Furthermore any onlookers through my growth of adolescence would have subjectively been shown the same “wonderful childhood” as there was no overt abuse in my formative years pertaining to the way we are taught “abuse”. Let’s face it, children have no idea they are being abused emotionally when growing up. How would they when we are programmed that “violence is love before the age of 17 then it magically transforms into domestic abuse”?
Beating=violent crime, domestic abuse, assault, battery, lead to, murder,sexual abuse, homicide, murder,assault, manslaughter, sexual assault, rape, robbery, negligence, endangerment,kidnapping (abduction), extortion, and harassment.
Beating=love (when unable to defend oneself and most traumatized by it).
WAKE THE FUCK UP DOES THAT MAKE SENSE REALLY?
I submit to you that our beast system and its subliminal teachings have abused us from birth. Furthermore violent discipline of children is traumatic. Psychological belittling of children teaches them they are “bad and wrong” so they stay in defense mode most of their lives and wear the mask of deception to try to fix it.
So what do I have here to do with staying sober in AA? A man cannot heal fully emotionally if he won’t look at his original wounds, his abusers, or his own heart. This is what we have in AA, a room full of 1/2 healed broken hearts.
But not just that, no one in defense mode will ever claim to have been “hurt” by another person. We are programmed that would be “weak”, begarly, and chicken shit.
Broken heart = “Weak (pussy)” according to maintenance programing of the beast system. This aids in keeping us blind.
There are many “maintenance programs” to enrich the “I am bad & wrong” program.
One of the most efficient is the “fear is shameful” program. Written in stone by words like “weak, pussy, chicken shit, yellow belly, sissy.” and on and on.
NO FEAR, NO COURAGE
KNOW FEAR, KNOW COURAGE
Addicts Defend Against their own Enlightenment and Recovery
We must make peace with fear itself as being part of the human condition and not “bad” as bad is programmed. OWN FEAR or it WILL own you.
After I shared in the meeting about the beast system, my parents, and being programmed with the “I am bad and wrong” program one of the fellows responded that they did not engage in self destruction because of a broken heart or fear….sure why not, they just “liked drinking” they said.
How do you teach a man that his heart was broken at an early age and that children are not born hating themselves. How do you teach a man that he is programmed with a lethal beast system run brain? 99.9% of addicts prefer labelling addiction “a disease” and will NEVER ever take out the magnifying glass and shine it on those they Love most and themselves. Only those with overt abuse, if they are lucky or blessed will ever in the program of AA work the 12 steps in the light of “wrongs suffered”. Even though these wrongs are the most devastating issues and they are always the real reason for addiction. Ask any true psychologist who has worked his theories on himself as well as his patients. Example: Gabor Mate’ whose truth is labelled “dangerous” online. Why dangerous? The beast system fears truth and especially self based truth. After all, what if we all woke to the beast system at once?
Back to AA, then those with overt abuse rarely abandon “blame” and defense mode.
To heal we must go back to childhood and address all of our trauma. We must go back and scream it out, cry it out, become again the child with the broken heart.
This requires we courageously take a double edged sword of THE SPIRIT to all the “I am bad & wrong” maintenance programs that have flooded our brains in every “program” on TV we have ever watched. It’s the subliminal that convinces us of who we are. Why the hell else would it be so fucking hard for the light of self truth to enter into the mind and heart of an addict? Programmed to be addicted. Programmed to be ashamed. Programmed to hide fear till it eats us from the inside out. Programmed to wear a mask.
When the most beautiful women look into the mirror what do they see?
I used to sell outfits to strippers in the clubs. Why and how was it that the MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD ALWAYS SEE THEMSELVES AS UGLY and cover it with vanity, and an air of conceit? True conceit is always hiding a heart of inferiority and the “I am ugly” program. Again by design.
We must become as little children
What did Jesus mean when He said, “to enter the kingdom of God we must become as little children”? Partly He meant the obvious, we must treat our Father in Heaven as if He is Our Father by humility and being teachable. But furthermore, without becoming children again we will never truly know ourselves. Without going back we won’t know the why. The answers to addiction lie in every man’s past if he can courageously look, learn, and listen to what his past is teaching him.
It takes years to process a childhood and learn from our past, with revelation, epiphany, and thrust of emotion reliving every pain and fear in a new light. It can be done during meditation to a point. Without prayer and guidance I don’t know if its possible to learn truly learn from our early past. Many who want to recover will settle for a new program run with the same “I am bad & wrong” broken heart.
We must expose our true heart and become vulnerable to become who we really are if we are to fully recover.
Most people run on ego “the mask” is firmly on….why? Because once your heart is broken and you realize your bad and wrong THEN you are open to the mask and maintenance programs of who we should be and how we will act. This my friend is how a society is controlled with fear and lies.
This is the mask, the lie, the ego, the protective wall that many have heard about and have a concept of yet rarely ever really broach. Again 99.9% of people are running a program that is a mask.
Storytelling Time to Sleep
I have to give the beast credit for his brilliance. After all the beast is an archangel named Lucifer who fell light lightning from Heaven cast down among the masses. He chooses who and how the world is run. He taught the leaders how to program the masses. He showed them the inventions and devices by which storytelling programs are made enjoyable labelled “entertainment”.
DON’T TAKE OUR ENTERTAINMENT WE CRY! Must I watch every TV program asking “what is it making me feel and think”? Damn right.
And what about “education”? LOL can you say “Everything they taught me in school was a lie?” Probably not. Bet your ass, if we can’t prove it the beast system is lying about it. And also the beast has discovered that even things we CAN prove are easily transposed into something they are not by the system because humans have become lazy, lackadaisical, and gullible to authority. Authorities like CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS tell us anything they want and we just swallow it hook, line, and sinker.
Now we are addicted to entertainment. What would do without our “programs”? We are lulled to sleep like children at bedtime.
THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE but we flee from it anyway.
No! We don’t want truth…especially not self truth it would make us too uncomfortable. Too, confused and self condemned. But we don’t have a right to condemn ourselves EVER. Repent and be saved. Ask God for knowledge and truth. Ask God for Wisdom and that we “not be deceived”. Ask God to take off the blinders. That my friend is where we can start breaking free of the programming and the self deception at heart level. Its thick, cunning, baffling, and powerful yes but truth is MORE POWERFUL. Stay in truth always.
The Armor of God
Put on the whole armor of God by wearing the helmet of the HOPE of salvation.
The shield of FAITH in God. Do not lose faith.
The breastplate of righteousness in Christ by doing the next right thing at every turn.
Wield The Sword of The Spirit which is the word of God putting it into action in your life. “All things work for the good to those who Love The Lord”.
The belt of truth, never drop it by telling a lie to yourself or others.
Feet shod w/the good news of the gospel of Peace. True Peace comes from Jesus and God The Father. Share this msg.
The prayers of the saints. Praying always in the Spirit.
Lies of the Beast
Just like Cancer that has abundant cures in nature we are programmed against these cures by big pharma programming which belittles holistic medicine and convinces the masses that it’s all poison or ineffective, indoctrinates physicians more rigorously than those who lack collegic indoctrination programs. Furthermore the cure to addiction is well known by the inventors or more accurately the “mind & heart programmers” of the alleged “disease”.
Generational Curses on Families
However addiction is a beast program that exploits generational inherited curses. Hence the spiritual aspect of addiction. Generational curses are a whole other matter and can and do get broken all the time. What breaks curses? God, Love, and Truth breaks curses. And the armor of God keeps us safe from evil.
SYNOPSIS of my article in Short
Our brain runs our programs, our heart is our operating system.
Addiction starts with a broken heart as the child discovers he is “wrong & bad” which is the initial, prerequisite programming and lie of the Beast System which all humans are subject to.
Being wrong and bad now we are vulnerable to more programs of the beast system. We feel we must become someone else…more programs are readily made available to us via, TV, media, and at large by copycat behaviors of parroting, and mimicking.
Hence, We become someone else running a false program that is not our own because it doesn’t come from God and our own heart. We then make ourselves even sicker.
Status quo programming reinforces knee jerk reaction of deception in our lives by shaming us for certain ideas/concepts/ that are merely part of the human condition. Instincts that we all have but are programmed to be ashamed of and not admit like fear, care of what others think of us, kindness toward strangers, encouragement toward others, individuality, admitting being hurt and harmed and allowing the processes made available to us to heal by sharing, expressing negative feelings these processes that keep us emotionally healthy are the ones the beast system teaches us to shut down. THIS IS BY DESIGN. We are programmed to hide, and shut down admitting fear to let it out. We are taught that our human condition is a shame so we wear a mask.
By shame we are more easily programmed and controlled by TV and media.
Healing comes from sharing self truth “and our heart, what happened and how it made me feel” this is the key to emotional health. Healing comes from admitting we are afraid with those who have empathy.
AA presents a new program to run on our operating system. But if we don’t discover and process our original pain we are just running a new recovery “program” on a sick virus infected operating system. We must heal by becoming a child again and processing our pains instead of shutting them down. We must go back in time and integrate with the “addict” who is harmed and hurt. We must comfort the child in us who is afraid and let her cry, scream, and laugh. We must learn from that child the when, why, and how we became so injured. We must learn from the child what hurt her most and allow her to heal. Then we become whole. Then we become who we really are instead of just running the AA program on a sick and secret laden operating system.