Daily Meditation Step Nine

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Love is an action as well as a feeling.
Any act of giving without strings attached is a Loving act. We don’t have to feel fuzzy and
yummy in our hearts to create an act of Love. The fuzzy and yummy does sometime come after
the giving act however.
When individuals come into recovery often times we are riddled with guilt concerning our
children. Usually for us woman our deepest regret and guilt is in the arena of our children.
Either we abandoned them or we lost them or we neglected them.
My first counselor and sponsor told me during the reading of my Fifth Step that I would not
have done the things I did had it not been for the addiction that had such power over me. When
I was strung out on pain killers they became my world. I had to be well first and foremost and if
I did not have my opiates I was not well. I put the needs of my daughter on the back burner. I
had to do allot of journaling and confessing to get that guilt off my chest.
I also did a thorough Ninth Step with my daughter. It was an emotional time she was only nine
years old yet she understood that she had been neglected the many times I left her behind with
her grandparents or brought her along on drug runs. Telling her how ashamed I was of myself
for those times was an opportunity that some addict parents never get.
The 12 Steps are designed by providence for those of us who want to change our lives and have a
conscience to not live an addiction based life.
I make daily amends to my daughter by being present and raising her with Love by making her
meals, buying her clothes and putting her needs ahead of my own. By the Grace of God and the
Program of Alcoholics Anonymous the poison shame that would have killed me has been
released. Without my Higher Power there is no such thing as a “program” that works.
I don’t have all the answers concerning God and the state of humanity as to why atrocities are
allowed by a great power and creator. However if I baulk at Step Three and Step Eleven where
my connection to God is I baulk at Love and that would be an atrocity in itself.

Writer in recovery Laura E. Sober since 2006 April 15, Good Friday & Easter weekend.

Addiction-The War for Your Soul

Cunning Baffling & Powerful?

If you are an addict who has felt the obsession compulsion and what it feels like to do what you do not want to do then you know the spiritual aspect of addiction.  That my friend is the part that is cunning and baffling to most.

Why is it some people get paranoid on really good weed and other’s do not?  There is likely more than one reason but I have some spiritual answers to the question.

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We’re All Here for the Very Same Reason & Subutex Detox

Subutex Dependency

See Associated 4th step fear list.  The truth will set me free.

No one can find the rewind button.  Most addicts were emotionally abused as children YET they have no idea what emotional abuse even looks like.  Therapy works and so do the 12 steps if done deep, deep.    Breath friends, just breath. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

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Cult Rules of Alcoholics Anonymous Especially In Facebook Recovery Groups

The Cult Rules of Alcoholics Anonymous Status Quo for those Reprogrammed but not Healed meaning Not recovered at heart level.

Recovered– Self worth is restored, self love is apparent.  Our self worth comes from God therefore if someone puts down AA it doesn’t trigger us to rage.

VS.

Reprogrammed– No recovery or healing has taken place at heart level therefore we only have reprogramming of the mind into the AA mindset program.  Therefore if someone contradicts one of the AA mantras or the disease concept we attack them because it is an attack on our person we think.

Hi, my name is Lori E. and I was a self destructive codependent. My drugs of choice (poisons) were opiates and alcohol.

Become who you really were meant to be or become an AA parrot.

If you follow these cult rules your a parrot.

All members must adhere to these rules or be considered non compliant.

Amendment #1  AA traditional mantras always take priority over Truth.

Amendment #2 If they put down or even show ideals contrary to AA status quos they put us down so we ATTACK.

Amendment #3  “Live and Let Live” is our Lie.

1. Members must download the directives of how to become an AA robot instead of becoming a clean & sober version of who we really are. You must be a copycat to fit in.
2. Quote mantras instead of using your own words.
3. make others look stupid so whenever possible so you don’t feel so stupid
4. never ever do self examination stay in blame.
5. blame others for your feelings
6. NEVER look at wrongs suffered “victimhood” is illegal in AA no matter what abuse is in your past.
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Programmed to be Addicted & Betrayed by Technology

Betrayed by the Image of the Beast

In this day and age for those saved souls who know Jesus the most important prayer we can say may be “Father, let me NOT be deceived”.

 

I want to tell you a story of heartfelt truth. It’s not a made up story but I may use some allegories. Picture a little girl. Little Elior is her name. Little Elior has parents who love her but they know little about emotional nurturing. They don’t know how confidence and self worth are built because, well they have little of their own…they punish by guilting and shaming. They punish by violence. Even the father “spanks” little Elior at a very young innocent age. Naturally little Elior believes if her father hits her she deserves to be hit.  And the messages she repeatedly got from school, & parents were that she, not her actions were bad and wrong.

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Why Does Anyone Become an Addict?

https://www.recoveryfarmhouse.net/legal-child-abuse-and-parental-neglect-iced-over-with-ignorance/ “Love” becomes assault and battery once you turn 18. Strange transformation of violent abuse that we are taught is “Love”.

US 6506148 B2  Google that.  Why do they say in AA “don’t ask why”.  Oh its cause you obsess over things right?  Why the phrase “morbid reflection”?  If you do look at your past thoroughly you might find Satan, roaming to and fro seeking whom he may destroy.  And YOU may have a sacred call on your life that makes you an arch enemy of evil.  He knows his time is short.  LOOK AT WHAT THE PRETTY PEOPLE DID AND PARROT THAT…..

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WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON IN THIS WORLD & WHO IS RUNNING THIS WORLD?

THIS IS NOT A RECOVERY ARTICLE YOU MAY WANT TO SKIP IT.  It is “the problem & causes of addiction” not the solutions.

Self Loathing is by design

What this article really is, is my great awakening catalogued for you to see in plain sight.  This is 4 years of research and revelation I give you.  It’s very scary and very true.  Pray for faith so you can bear it.

NEWS FLASH!  Satan IS the ruler of this world and YOU were/are an addict by design.  The more abuse you endured in the formative and teen years the more likely your calling from God IS.  Were you targeted?  Did the voices in your head tell you “your a piece of shit”?   The dark side fears you because God will give you POWER & MIGHT if you seek Him.

You are not ultimately responsible for who you were as an addict, or who you have become.  But you ARE responsible for learning, & changing.

Continue reading “WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON IN THIS WORLD & WHO IS RUNNING THIS WORLD?”