Tag: addiction

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Heart Level Recovery Is Grounded in God

If Nothing Changes- Nothing Changes. Heart Level Recovery Is Always God Grounded.

Recovery From Addiction.    

My Heart is warmed when I remember my first year of recovery.  I was so relieved to be free of the drink and drugs that I beamed with anticipation and gratitude.  I was scared to death at the same time!  I had no idea what kind of life I was in for but I did have hopes, dreams and the vision.  I knew as long as I was doing God’s will by being clean and sober that He was at the helm and life would be good…and by God it was!

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We’re All Here for the Very Same Reason & Subutex Detox

Subutex Dependency

See Associated 4th step fear list.  The truth will set me free.

No one can find the rewind button.  Most addicts were emotionally abused as children YET they have no idea what emotional abuse even looks like.  Therapy works and so do the 12 steps if done deep, deep.    Breath friends, just breath. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

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Addiction Can Make Life Dangerous. Murder, Rape, Near Death Experiences

I have often wondered how I survived my 20’s through 30s.  Surely I kept my protecting angel very busy with so many dangerous near death mishaps.

I was a Heroin addict with a dangerous job.  I was a prostitute who worked for herself.  I ran the gamut of prostitution all the way from street level hitchhiking to the best of the best high class exquisite hotels and appointment with the rich and wealthy.

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Alcoholics Anonymous Self-Loathing

My Experience and Opinions for reasons people become addicts do not negate the need to do 12 step work, get a sponsor, and make amends etc to recover..

There is a valid reason you do not want to feel

If you ended up in the psych ward due to some antics you engaged in because of addiction or alcoholism then it’s time.   Are you done?  There is a reason that you feel better when your numb.  There is a reason that you are uncomfortable in your own skin.  As a matter of fact…since I have been sober over 14 years this time I have learned exactly the precise and many varied reasons I was uncomfortable and down right ashamed in my own skin.

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Suboxone Maker’s Criminal Scam to Profit off Suffering Heroin Addicts

Suboxone Creator’s Shocking Scheme to Profit Off of Heroin Addicts

The company behind America’s most popular drug to treat addicts actually claimed its pills could kill kids to get a new patent and $1 billion.

Reckitt Benckiser’s patent for its opiate-treatment drug Suboxone expired, opening the gates for cheaper generic versions of the medication to hit the market. At stake was the loss of the company’s 85 percent hold on the market for medication-assisted treatment, which was booming thanks to the growing opiate epidemic. Hundreds of millions stood to be lost from the patent’s expiration.

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Accept the Human Condition of Fear

And Begin To Heal from Shame & Repressed Fear of who we are.

We have a choice to make today toward our fellows posts and in meetings. We either search our psyche & heart to RELATE to what they are saying and promote healing, OR we take out our RED PEN and GRADE their share as if we are the disgruntled school master and the share was written by the bully of our classroom whom we want to hurt because we were so badly hurt. Or worse, he made us look inferior we perceive. And finally if someone posts something we don’t agree with we must DEFEND

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IS GOOGLE BEING BULLIED BY THE CHINESE TO CENSOR AMERICANS?

Is Google on our side?  Do we have good reason to Love Google?  Or are we deceived?  More will be revealed, and more to come

I am watching to see as my most informative Youtube channels of truth seekers are systematically deleted. Lets hope Info-wars reports are wrong about this and that Google does have our best interest at heart as I hope to believe.

Mike Adams’, The Health Ranger YouTube channel has been terminated.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAZa…

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The Disease Concept is a Sham You CAN Recover

If you have the cajonies to look at your life with clarity and truth.

 

War for profit shows the mentality of the men and women who rule the Earth and what they are concerned with primarily. We are roaches to many of them. And our self

esteem/ADDICTION problems are directly related to the indoctrination we suffered in schools, and our parents endured as well in the U.S. Does this mean we don’t do a personal

inventory? Hell no! It means we need to see the big picture of why our lives really went south and what was behind it. TV, education, poison foods, all part of our slave

mentality indoctrination. We were DEMORALIZED WAY BEFORE WE COMMITTED OUR FIRST WRONG to others. Credit where credit is due. THERE IS NO DISEASE OF ADDICTION. DRUGS WERE OUR

ATTEMPT AT A SOLUTION TO THE PAIN WE HID DEEP INSIDE US FOR SO LONG.

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Eyes Wide Shut…the addicts fail-safe

Addicts should look at and process of both wrongs committed and wrongs suffered to fully recover. When we enter the realm of understanding and acceptance, we abandon deep denial, that is when addiction is no longer baffling to us.  We label it a “disease” which gets us nowhere in progressive understanding of ourselves but instead we become open to emotional vulnerability in ourselves.  Then we can start understanding how and why we were in so much emotional pain at a young age and forward.

Don’t you see my friend?  If I call addiction a disease it will always be baffling to me and I will never get to know myself at a core level with both acceptance and understanding, forgiveness, and mesh my addict self with Love to my healthy patterns, and nurture that part of me back to health.

Calling the addict part of me a “disease” is a label of negativity.  As if part of me is reprehensible and beyond repair, this is no true.  Yes addiction is spiritual, but first it’s emotional.  My sick emotions open the door for the demon of addiction to abide.  When I Love that emotional part of me back to health I then dispel the hateful addict demon that latched itself to my feelings of inferiority and deep hidden fear.

I expose my fear to the light of empathy and fellowship in the name of truth and transparency of self.  I quit hiding fear away as if it were a sign of “shitty recovery” to experience it.  I now understand fear is and always was a part of the human condition therefore I stop being ashamed of fear, and instead I share it and write down on my FEAR LIST just as directed in the fourth step of the Big Book instructions.  You know the fear list that NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT OR MENTIONS ON YOUR FOURTH STEP…..HELLO!

What else?  Well how about I need at LEAST one person I can tell anything to.  I now need to relieve myself of guilt and shame the culprits of my sick emotional state.  WE ARE AS SICK AS OUR SECRETS.  You will never gain self Love and confidence if you do not know who the hell you are to begin with.  WE must finally accept our vulnerable sides in spite of the brainwashing we all have experienced in society, from TV, educational indoctrination, and our parents misconceptions of what is and isn’t permissible in behaviors.

YOU HAVE BEEN SHUT DOWN by parents and societal norms and status quos.  It’s time to find out who you are and why you were so ashamed of you.  People who hide who they are put a box around their own hearts.  By this they make themselves very very sick.  THE ELITE WHO BRAINWASHED YOU AS THE AGES OF 1-7 KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT TAKES TO SHUT YOU UP AND MAKE YOU SICK.  Think I am kidding?  Or wrong maybe?  I challenge you this…research food as long as I have and you will see their are very evil and extremely knowledgeable people running this show.  It is those elite 1% who have intentionally brought you and many others like you and me to our knees with their drugs and psyop programs.

We MUST abandoned our carnal, primal emotional survival skills of denial in the form of blame, self deception, and covering our childhood with a painting based in pact mentality where our parents and childhood was just fine.  BULLSHIT!  If our emotionally charged childhoods were so fine we would not be pegged for self loathing drizzled with self destruction.  Face the truth and recovery.  Stay in a picture perfect world and remain sick with sick emotional patterns.

If we keep an open mind and get a good therapist along with a 12 step program we will figure out why we were in so much emotional pain for so long.  We should learn emotional tools that we use to process that pain, and really get to know who we are and love and forgive ourselves.  The problem with addicts is they cannot bear to expose vulnerabilities emotionally.  WE SIMPLY MUST EXAMINE childhood HURT, ANGER, AND FEAR to recover in the real world.

The first 2/3 of my life sucked. If someone would have told me I was in purgatory I would have believed it easily even though I didn’t believe in purgatory at the time.  Until I had a certain dreams which were reality.

The whole story and dream are at this link.

**** “https://www.recoveryfarmhouse.net/paradise-for-the-hellbound/#BOWELS OF THE EARTH: THE DREAM” ****

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