Being “baffled” by anything isn’t a stance we should fight to stay in, is it? Dr. Gabor says: “The heart of addiction is ALWAYS emotional loss.”(trauma, neglect, abuse) Thing is children have no way of recognizing this when it’s happening. The addict adult scarcely wants to process the real causes of his pain so he can actually be cured. The real cure for addiction doesn’t poise addiction as being magically stronger than an emotional healing. By far the healing from addiction leaves one enlightened and seldom if ever wanting to avoid life and reality. Make no mistake Spirituality is a cure to anything when applied. That’s not rocket science. So, what is the allergy? The allergy component in addiction is emotional pain, shame, and fear. When that’s cleared up there’s no reason to numb one’s self. If I am not in emotional pain my body won’t react to drugs with a sigh of relief. Again…this isn’t rocket science. But addicts will do anything to avoid seeing that their “pack” and childhood in most cases is what made them sick in the first place. Believe me I know the subconscious will to protect the pack. I know how to bury memories and avoid core feelings. The pack mentality stands guard to protect every addiction. False pride sits with it’s gun cocked and ready to shoot down any realizations of intense shame. The ego screams and shuts down any tears that form at the base of core emotional issues. “Out of the problem into the solution!” is only good advice when we are revelling in chaos, blame, condemnation of self or other character flaws. It’s good advice when circumstances merit a solution. But what if the solution to addiction is actually to cry the deepest uncried tears in your heart. What if the cure is to have an empathic ear who hears your past intense pains and feelings about events so buried that only meditation can reveal the crisis to you? And suppose the original crisis merits screams and moans that a mere tear would be too weak to harness. What if all an addict needs to do is be understood and told it’s okay to hurt and cry your uncried tears? And to be validated that we were harshly wronged at a tender age. What if? What if? AA is not bad but being shut down emotionally by a non empathic, emotionally constipated sponsor who says: “it’s bad to share human feelings or to be negative” or “addiction has nothing to do with emotions” This IS a mistake. Just a mistake. There are lots of temporary distractions to addiction but the cure is both emotional and spiritual and it requires heart wrenching expressions of true release. The cure also includes A.A. and lots of meditation and prayer. Getting in touch with core feelings is one task. Speaking one’s heart about those feelings and events is task two. Finding an empathic listener who won’t shut you down to process is task three. You can process much of what’s “coming up” by tears and screams no-one need hear. There is true magic in the relating and sharing of our deepest pains. The truth shall set you free but first one needs to let the truth in.
Related story: https://www.recoveryfarmhouse.com/12-steps-and-the-right-therapy-go-hand-in-hand/